This morning as we walked into the school yard -- early for once -- Aaron met Julia at the fence and told her something. I didn't hear it. Julia immediately stiffened and I could see she was in fighting mode. I put one hand on Julia's chest and told her to breath. I told her that I knew she was angry and she nodded. She did breathe and I told her that she was not going to fight. She took my hand and we headed into the school yard again. Aaron and Anna met us at the gap in the fence and they were standing like Xs barring Julia's way in. I tried to talk to them, cajole them out of what they were doing. Anna, sweet little kid that she is, immediately backed down. She was doing this for fun, not to really keep Julia out. Aaron felt differently. When I asked what I could do to get in, he told me to take Julia home. Not let her come to school. I managed to get around them with Julia in tow. It was interesting to me that while I talked to Aaron and he was saying things that could make Julia angry, she did not say anything. Nor did she make a lunch to hit Aaron. I don't recall that she even tightened her grip on my hand, a sign that she was tensing up her whole body. I might surmise that she was letting me handle it which, if so, is a great victory for our attachment. But I might be surmising too much.
Aaron tried to block us at various points but we managed to get through to the class line where Julia dropped her bag. She even ran off and ran after Aaron and Anna and she seemed to let go of Aaron's remarks.
These two kids are just made to drive each other crazy. I wonder if Julia is learning something aobut relationships apart from just reacting in order to get to the top of the pecking order.
Another small note -- The aide, who replaced Amy, Mary K, will be with the class for the rest of the year. This is great because she is loving and strict and Julia has sensed that Mary K is good for her. I was chatting with her in the playground and talking about Julia and Aaron. I said something about Julia and China, and found out that Mary K did not know that Julia was in China for 5.5 years. She is also an adoptive mom and once thought about China.
3 comments:
Hi there, so what is the Principal doing about Aaron at school? This is horrible behaviour, to be blocked from coming in the doorway. At the very least, there should be a consequence for his very rude behaviour. He should be made to apologize to you and to your daughter. He needs to be kept in check, or it will only get worse. And then your daughter will eventually want to retaliate again, and "she'll" be the one in trouble. That's just not right.
What are the consequences for Aaron?
Best,
Snick with Sunshine and Brilliance.
Snick,
Aaron and Julia do a playgroup in the afternoon on Wednesday and his mom had him apologize. They go to a great school and the situation was dealth with. Aaron has his own issues which are not insignificant.
Thanks for the loving care.
Suzanne
Suz, I can't stand this sort of behavior of one child to another. I would have probably pushed A down on the ground. See? I'm just not made for school? There would be too many children I would have to beat up....LOL. You are a much better person than I am. Having issues would not be a good enough excuse for someone being mean to my child. I think you handled it very well, but how do you know what happens when you are not there?
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