Bethroom, etc.

So, it's Friday. Rainy after I planted lots of basil and parsley and sunflower seeds yesterday, not to mention grass seed in my back yard holes. Quiet after the plumbers ripped our bathtub and sick out of the bathroom. The banging on the walls disturbed every picture hung on every wall of our house -- yes, it is a small house. Today, the carpenter comes to put underlayment on the shower surround and the floor, preparing the way for me to tile this weekend. Tuesday, the new sink comes in. I will have lots of grouting and then sealing to do, but in another week or so at the most, we will have a better bathroom!

Right now, I feel the waiting, waiting, waiting time that comes just before the rush, rush, rush time. I am looking forward to getting into the tile, a bit nervous about gutting small tiles and deal with with ever drying glue -- not glue, adhesive.

Julia has had a few very good behavior days at school. She is also announcing to us/me what she is going to do -- Mommy, I hug Gracie today. I see planning behind those eyes.

Yesterday, on our ride to Marilyn's (AT), Julia was telling me what she hated. She hates school, she hates me, she hates . . . I asked her not to use the word hate because it was such a strong word and it made me sad. Julia then repeated what she hated as what she didn't like, but she ended with "I hate change." Whew!!!!! Like a wind blowing through our little car. "Yes," I said, "yes, you don't like change at all, do you?" "No," my spicy dragon said. We talked a bit but she stopped her hating/not liking after that.

Julia remains her best therapist. I get inpatient for the changes that will make her seem more typical, and she gives me those changes in her own time, at her own pace, and I am sure, perfectly.

We are still going over the -at words and I've added -an words. I go over them many more times than I would have with Cheshire, and Julia is growing patience as we work together.

She is naming flowers as I point them out. For Cheshire, it was musical comedies and guessing the actor singing on records and tapes. For Julia, it is the flowers/plants that we pass. She has an absorbing interest in natural life and going on any walk takes ages as she investigates ant hills and other holes in the dirt. Watches for fish, dead and alive, as we walk along the bay. Is fascinated by stories about how ants are necessary for peonies to bloom. And is trying to figure out if centipedes are different from millipedes. I have no idea.

My summer ideas are starting to come together. We will have up to 5 hours a day, during the week, of therapy for autism. I am hoping to add to that 2-45 minutes lessons. One for reading (with some number thrown in) and the other for science. Swimming, bike riding, and playing to fill in the rest of our days.

Recently, I've been stumped as to what to say when I've been in some social settings with Julia -- situations where we are with strangers or acquaintances, where people do not know her and are not likely to get to know her or us well. After her latest growth spurt, Julia looks like she is the 8 years old that she is, so she is not more a little girl whose social ineptitude can be easily excused. It confuses many adults who try to talk to her when she doesn't answer, doesn't look at them, says something that is totally not appropriate to the situation, or just hugs them.

What do you say when the mere acquaintance looks up at you with wondering eyes?

I don't want to recite her diagnoses or her history. And I want them to understand and be kind -- to listen to her and encourage her. I have not lost my mind, so I realize that is way too optimistic. I just don't want them to look so perplexed, I want to stop them from looking at her so strangely. She doesn't understand those looks right now, and I've been hoping that she would become "socially acceptable" before she started understanding. Now, I am fishing for words -- the equivalent of "I stutter when I speak" that I use when people start correcting me or begin to giggle when I am talking. Somehow, "She is autistic" makes more of the situation than there is. In truth, any explanation makes more of the situation then there is, but something is necessary to put everyone at ease. And I know this is my baggage and not Julia's, but I do want people at ease.

Just had a good talk with the carpenter, very nice guy. He will rip up the floor -- sorry, David -- because the wood is rotted underneath the linoleum. He is also going to loan me his tile cutter this weekend so I don't have to rent one.

More noise, but I'll get some house work done, get a book on tape to tile to, and make an appearance in circuit court.