An all nighter

Ugh, just lost the beginning of a post. I hate that.

I am awake due to the steriods I am taking for my poison ivy. My body is exhausted but my mind is just whizzing along. I could watch a dozen movies right now, not exactly what I need to do since Julia is scheduled to wake up in about 2 hours. If I didn't suffer so much when I get poison ivy, this would not seem worth it, but there is no comparison between weeks as itchy agony with weeping, scabby arms and a few nights without sleep.

So, what am I thinking about with this alert mind.

We were at a lovely neighborhood picnic today. I sat among a circle of moms of chidren around Julia's age and we talked about kids, school, PTO (I learn a lot of PTO talking to parents who do not participate but listen to school yard gossip.) and the summer. Yes, I am almost a generation older than most of these women, and no, I cannot talk about Julia's achievements in school, at dance class, on the playing field, etc. If I had had this challenge when Cheshire was growing up, I would have avoided these social gatherings. I am not avoiding but there is some sting, the complicated saddness of what Julia is missing out on and what I am missing out on. The feeling that this was not what I planned for this child when she was a potential child.

I have some ability to muck through these feelings and dive into conversation. And I talk about therapies and Julia's growth and encourage questions. These are the parents of Julia's peers and although a few of them have made it clear that their kids will not bend in the least to play with Julia, I am intent on making as many as possible fall in love with her so that the parents will encourage their kids to do the same. I stretched the muscle of my advocacy today.

I have finally begun to understand and take in the intensive therapy that I have chosen for Julia, and feel like I was very lucky to choose what I now think is going to be very good for her. IDS, Integrated Development Systems, bases their work on the research done by Stanley I. Greenspan, MD. and called Floortime. As his website explains:

The DIR®/Floortime™ Model typically involves an interdisciplinary team approach with speech therapy, occupational therapy, educational programs, mental health (developmental-psychological) intervention, visual-spatial thinking programs and, where appropriate, augmentative and biomedical intervention. The DIR®/Floortime™ Model also emphasizes the critical role of parents and other family members because of the importance of their emotional relationships with the child. (See http://www.icdl.com/).

Julia's therapists started with her by following her lead, playing with her on her terms, and trying hard to engage on her level. I am excited to see what is going to happen.

I am also excited to learn more about this form of therapy for our playgroup. There is a lot of overlap and I am sure that it is going to give me ideas. One of the first things that I am reading is a long article that talks about the importance of the parent-child relationship(s). As I read, I am becoming more grounded that our playgroup needs to involve parents at all levels, especially as play guides. To learn to guide the play of your own child is important but possibly learning how to guide the play of other kids who are on the spectrum is equally important because it gives the parent a chance to compare and contrast, to development a relationship with another child who is uniquely challenged, and to learn more skills, stretch those domant play muscles, to bring back into the home. Whether I can pursuade other parents to feel this way is another story. A big part of me wants to lock myself up in an ivory tower an study for a year or two, but my Julia and her peers need this now and so I must stumble along until I become proficient.

On the house front, I have ballpark figures for my plans of renovation, and we are juggling the ideas of renovation or moving. We are looking at houses, not really to buy yet, although I don't know what I would do if we found perfection, to see if we can find everything we want, in a neighborhood we like, for a price we can afford, and that price is the cost of our house plus what we would have to spend for a big renovation. More than one bathroom and a great kitchen are deal breakers. We have not given up on our renovation and staying in our present house -- we may find out that we have perfection minus the renovation. There is no rush this time and so, we shall wait until it becomes clear.