Release

I threw the I Ching yesterday and got the hexagram called Release. Ummmm.

Julia and I have had a tough week. Julia's behavior is pretty awful. I know that some, much, or most of it is due to all the transitioning that we are doing, but I think I have also felt a bit too sorry for her and let our discipline lapse.

Last night, I had planned a very nice evening. ShaDiamon was going to come over for dinner and a movie, we were going to have hambergers and corn on the cob, and I rented Cinderella III (Was there a II?). I picked Julia up from school and we went to the post office to get her passport. Julia was not listening to me as well as she should and I just tried to placate her while we waited in line and filled out additional forms and had her picture taken. We then went to the library and found lots of dinosaur books which Julia just loved, but her behavior in the check out line again was not very good.

When we got home, I started dinner and Julia was supposed to play. She wanted to turn on TV and as I wanted to get things done quickly, we put on one of the land before time videos. Before it was time to pick up ShaDiamon, I warned Julia that we would be leaving soon. When itwas time, I told her I was going to turn off the TV and she blew up. Julia screamed and ranted and had a full fledged melt down. She hasn't done this in months but I can see that she has been heading for it. I tried to calm her down, tried holding her, tried to just get her into the car. Nothing worked. I let her go on for a little while and then I put her in her room and called ShaDiamon to cancel the night.

I put Julia in her room so I could make the phone call but she was kinda' sorta' willing to stay there, so I left her there. I made dinner and finally she calmed down. I told her that she could come down for dinner and she did. This time and really for the first time, she knew she had done something I really didn't like. She suggested going to get ShaDiamon but I told her we could not do that now. We had our dinner but I was not my usual chatty mommy self -- but I wasn't angry either. Just stern.

When she finished eating, She put her plate on the counter near the sink and I asked Julia if she wanted to hug and kiss me. She flew into my arms and apologized over and over. I told her that I was very disappointed with her behavior but that I loved her. Then we did not watch movies like we usually do but sat at the table working on her writing and drawing. Later, we took a walk with the dog and we went upstairs to get ready for bed.

I think with all the selling, moving, having David working in Madison tension, I am giving into the easy way out with Julia. And I don't think it is working.

Today, I am packing us up and going to Madison. David can use the break of driving down and back, and Julia and I can use the time to be together and get back into sync.