Saturday

We have a busy weekend planned – swimming on Saturday morning, shopping for tomorrow's family supper, cooking and cleaning, beautiful singing at the church's dedication this afternoon, and a lazy evening. Tomorrow, we do Julia's private swimming lesson, rake up the back yard, and entertain three other families for our November Family Supper Group. Yesterday's front raking took so long but the front and side of the house are clean AND the machine sweepers were around this morning and picked up all the piles that I had made. I felt very lucky and asked the universe to transfer that luck to my job hunt. LOL.

Watching Julia at Saturday swimming – and oh, her need to control. God, it would be so lovely if it was cause be an attachment disorder. No matter how hard the work is, if it could be remedied, if we could heal her in that way, if she could learn secure attachment and let the control go, she could learn so much. The patience, the deep, deep patience of the people who help her swim have managed to teach her something. What could she learn if she was not fighting them.

It passes in my mind, what if what I am seeing as a need for control was really a demanding of attention. A casual observer could see that . First, I have to be grateful that her teachers of all sorts are willing to see it as something else. Second, a child like Julia seeking attention would make sense. A child without attention for so long, a child who was neglected for years, now has the ability to demand such attention. I guess, believing as I do in her intelligence, I have to expect that some of her behavior may be attributed to attention seeking.