Yesterday, I was in Julia's class. They did not do writers' workshop, instead the kids finished up a wood working project. They nailed and glued, designed and painted. I helped where I could although I was a total washout when it came to choosing wood to nail. I know so little about that world. I kept wishing that they had all balsa wood instead of interesting scraps that were a pain to work with. LOL. None of the kids thought so however. Lots of planes, jets and bombs from the boys – I am sure a number of peace loving moms would be appauled at what their boys wanted to make – some more abstract decorative things, and some houses. Julia made a house. She was in the painting/staining stage yesterday. The idea of a stain didn't resonate with her at all, and who can blame her. Paint should cover everything. Right?
Before the wood working, Ginny took her little troup of 5 on a walk around the building carrying different shaped sand bags. Addressing the sensory issues, some of the kids complained about carrying anything, but most arrived back at their classroom ready to work. Yesterday, Julia's distracted behavior was the worst of all of them. She was not able to listen to any directions and did not sit, stand or walk when told. Amy, who is not her full time aide this year, guided her and manipulated her. Once Julia got settled in her wood working, she was fine and did her work. On the positive side, Julia is willing to try, willing to engage in experiences, and for all her getting angry, grumpy, and disappointed (all her words), she does not complain as much as her sensory peers.
I couldn't help but come away with the feeling that I could teach her as much at home. I can hold her attention for a longer time without needing to cut through as much distraction. My homeschooling friends will giggle at me. I am not yet teady to give up the system, especially considering how much Julia needs to learn about socialization and interacting appropriately, but it is an idea that is taking root. At times, even over my better judgment.
Watching Julia's behavior also reminded me of David's suggestion to try Ritilan. I am sure we could find a doc to give it to her. And that brings up another thought. Even asking for attachment therapy instead of traditional family therapy is our, read my, choice. Who am I and what do I know to make such a diagnosis and ask for such treatment. I know only what I've read and what is in my gut, and I don't mean to devalue my gut, but finding professional advice is still hard to come by. I think of all of the professional we have dealt with and not one of them has given me advice on the whole child. The social worker check ups at 6 months and one year said that Julia appeared very normal (and these were two different social workers), we have asked for referrals from her pediatricians without their input, the International Clinic we visited saw nothing wrong, the Waismen Clinic saw only autism, Lance was willing to entertain anything that we suggested but after 4 visits had no advice. Marilyn, who we hope will be our attachment therapist after the insurance appeal, asked us who diagnosised Julia with attachment issues. The answer had to be that we did. And I asked who should have? In my naïve trust in professionals, I expected that our IA clinic exam would suggest a number of needs a child might have – oh, how wrong I was. So, I am brought full circle and wonder at what point we should consider something like Ritilan? If Julia could concentrate and attend to what she was directed to attend to, she would progress lots faster than she does now. But I have no idea what would happen if she was given the drug and then become more hyper for even a short time. My thought right now is that if we don't see progress after 6 months or so working with Marilyn, we look at the drug route. I want to be sure that the ABA intensive autism therapy is the right way to go if and when a slot comes open for Julia. We still have more than a year on the waiting list and so this is our time frame. The ABA therapy will be an incredible commitment of time – 20-35 hours a week outside of school. It will mean giving up almost all other outside activities so I want to be as sure as I can be that it will be the right thing for her.
9 comments:
I happened across your blog. I have adopted 2 children from Russia. Both of my children have attachment issues. My daughter is diagnosed with RAD. You have to have someone that specializes in it for therapy or it doesn't work. I found a website www.beyondconsequences.com It saved my family! I have used it for less than a year and WE have done a complete turn around. There whole principle is parenting children that have had traumatic beginnings. If I can suggest anything, I recommend the DVD live series. It really hit home for me. It changed my life so much that I became trained so that I can help other families that are out there struggling.
Attachment Therapy, its parenting methods and the "Attachment Disorder" diagnosis (confused with RAD) are not approved by the American Psychological Association. They actually consider it abuse and tell welfare workers to treat it as child abuse. As a form of quackery, Attachment Therapy practitioners of course cater to the parents' hopes and desires. Quacks always have more time for their clients. These are salesmen and sadists, not people who are concerned with research, good outcomes for families, or helping children. Take a good look at Attachment Therapy if you don't want to destroy your relationship with your child.
I am sorry but you have NO IDEA what you are talking about with Beyond Consequences. There is no physical punishment, no holding while angry only love! If you consider unconditional love child abuse then you need to get help.
Beyond Consequences is the invention of Heather Forbes and Bryan Post. Perhaps you are not aware of a dark side:
http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/post.html
http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/forbes.html
http://hamptonroads.com/2008/07/practitioner-controversial-therapy-moves-his-base-hampton-roads
Who are you anonymous? And what are you credentials to critize any form of therapy? I am open to many ideas but to just leave a bomb of a message without knowing who you are inspires very little trust.
Suzanne
My Name is Kellie, This Annonymous poster has no clue what she/he is talking about in regard to Beyond COnsequences. It is the total opposite of what you are stating. Its opposite of 'traditional' attachment therapy! Its only love, no physical punishments, no holding down while a child rages... I have spent time with Heather on 2 different occasions, and have read all her books. You are very misled. Please do more research before bashing people.
I agree with Kellie fully. Beyond Consequences is all about emotional regulation of the parent and child. There is no "holding time" or "holding therapy" involved whatsoever. Another great website that helps parents learn to repair breaks in attachment is www.consciouslyparenting.com. There are forums, articles, tele-classes, video clips, audio recordings. I'm sure you'll find something there that interests you.
Good luck with your family. Been there, done that! And made it to the other side where there is healing.
Hugs,
Bethany
What does it matter what my credentials are? I only provided the URLs for a source of quotes from Forbes and Post's materials. Do you think they are fake?
There is a practice in Beyond Consequences where a child exhibiting difficult behavior is taken into a bedroom with a parent, and they stay there until the problem is resolved, no matter how long it takes. But nothing is said about what happens in that room. What does go on?
There is no practice as you described. None whatsoever. I am a Certified Instructor of this model, trained personally by Heather Forbes herself, and I have literally never heard of such a thing associated with BCLC. Many other so-called attachment therapies do practice things like voluntary holding and re-birthing techniques. I have heard of these things as part of other "methods", which I am also very familiar with.
But none of that makes sense in BCLC, because this parenting paradigm is all about helping parents become fully attuned to our children. We try to reduce any threatening or stressful energy, which would include locking a kid in a room or doing anything against the child's will. Those things would only add stress and fear and keep the child in the primitive brain (where healing does not/cannot happen).
I teach these classes online and in person with my local DHS. I would be happy to arrange a free presentation of this model by phone with you if you are interested in learning more about it from the actual source and not gossip or hearsay. I genuinely believe that once you hear what BCLC is really about and see the science behind this model, you will be more inclined to consider it as a legitimate resource -- not just for maintaining good behavior, but for literally seeing plastic reorganization of traumatized brains. In other words, true, documentable, healing.
Thanks for bringing up these questions! What a great opportunity to share this model with everyone who reads this blog.
~Bethany
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