Road trip!

Time is such a slippery dimension. I feel like I have not written anything for a very long time . . . and I am so disjointed from my normal. And . . . and so much more. Usually, when I am away from home, I get to a point when something shifts inside and I observe my doings in a slightly different way. I love when this happens. I may not seem any wiser or more observant, but I feel the shift and the novelty of it is thrilling.

But not this trip.

This trip has demanded a lot and has sucked me dry. Dismantling a home, even a home that I've never been comfortable in, is sad work. Wading through some one's papers and possession, even when it is family, is invasive and rude. Making choices of what to do with possessions that are not my own is especially hard. I just don't do possessions very well. Never have. There have been times of wanting more, more and bigger and better, but this is not the best part of me. Wading through the more and bigger and better of someone else, even a mother, stirs those feelings in me in an uncomfortable way. Would I have been better off . . . but then, no. Another path is mine.

We left Jersey today, not early like I had hoped and not after a short visit to the shore like I had also hoped. Instead, I made more phone calls this morning, canceling yet more services, insurances, and luxuries (no more cable for future visits), and made the rounds to get the mail forwarded to me, drop papers at the lawyers, drop the key at my sister's, and stop for fried rice for Julia's lunch. We did not make it to Lisa's house in Maryland until 6, but had a lovely dinner and a walking of the labyrinth and early to bed.

I am looking to have my spirit filled on this trip home and so far, Shrek yesterday and Lisa today, I see this as a perfect plan.

To sleep now, and the biggest driving day tomorrow.

Oh, Julia and Shrek. This child from China, mine for less than 3 years, loves my favorite American art form as much as the rest of the family. Who would have guessed? Julia was all eyes and ears -- covering her ears in the beginning because it was all too too much -- for her first Broadway musical. She clapped enthusiastically after every song, stood when she could not see, did not want to leave when it was over, and is talking about the wonderful donkey all day.