punch

At attachment therapy today, Marilyn suggested to Julia to sit in my lap and cuddle. Julia got up to do it which I was pleased with, and then turned around went to claw my breasts and punched me in the nose with a closed fist. She had done this before, it started very recently, but it still surprises me. That sharp ability to turn on me, attack hard, and hold her anger. This was not the first time but it hurt more, emotionally for sure. She seemed to really want to hurt. I may be reading way to much this behavior.

We had two sessions of the new therapy at home today and it is during the second one that I have retired to my bedroom to write and rest a bit. I feel wounded and have a great need to take that girl in my arms and snuggle with her.

Later.

I have been very concerned that Julia would have a hard time with this transition to having more people in the house -- her house, her puppy house. Instead, she is delighted to have found new grownups who come to her house to play with her. I am the one feeling very invaded, like this group of people have robbed me of my child and my lovely summer days. This is gut negative reaction and I will get over it.

The initial phase of therapy is getting to know Julia. The senior therapist is taking notes like crazy and the line therapists are playing and doing a lot of following Julia's lead. Once they get into directing her activities, my perceptions will change as well.