Swimming & Julia's view of life

Swimming lesson writing: I have been talking to the PTB at the Y and they are arranging for an aide to with Julia during her lessons. Her present teacher, Linda who is a spec ed teacher in her non-aquatic life, is also going to give Julia private lessons in addition to group lessons. My goal continues to be two-fold, that is, to have Julia learn how to swim, or how to do the stokes necessary for her to become a better swimming, and to teach her to learn within a group and participate in a group.

SO, towards those ends, I offered Julia two stickers if she (1) listened to Linda today, and (2) did what Linda asked. Julia is now at the point where I can tell her what I expect and then ask her what she is supposed to be doing and have her repeat, with help, what I told her to do. (Just this is an accomplishment considering that this kind of instruction, question, response was impossible last year at this time). She was primed and ready BUT Linda is not at lesson today! LOL. Best laid plans, and I hear the gods laughing.

In any event, there is a substitute, Loren, and only three kids in class today. Julia is trying right now to listen and keep herself controlled enough to do what she has been asked.

I need to be able to communicate with Julia over a long distance – I wonder if we should be learning some signs so that I can remind her to listen or to do as she is told. Can I get her to look at me when she feels herself loosing control? Is she that cognizant of how she is doing? Can I help her to be?

At home, Julia is asking me a lot of the time if I am angry or mad at her. She is more and more aware of my moods whenever I veer from center in the slightest. I can be stern, grumpy, direct, etc. – I find it hard to quantify my moment-to-moment emotional landscape. I search for words to answer her questions and wonder how many of them she understands. If it is necessary for her to quantify emotions in order to learn them, then I have to both understand myself and figure out what will translate to her.

I continue to read about trauma – two books, one a tome – and Julia’s behavior when she automatically greets every direction with a "no" and her hitting seems to fit that of kids who have suffered trauma. Not surprising at all. Now, can we heal her? She needs compliance and willingness to learn.

Thank goodness, she is so cute.

Julia brought home a paper the other day – an assignment regarding families. Families have been the ongoing theme for awhile. On the page was two drawing spaces – one for when Julia was a baby and one for now. Christy told me that she worked with Julia on this just to make sure that it was not too much for Julia or that it did not go into scary or bad places. On the baby side, Julia drew a baby crying in a crib on wheels. There was a big person in the picture as well but the person was not near the crib. Julia told Christy that when she was a baby, she was crying. Christy asked her if there were times that she did not cry or other things to put in the picture. Julia told her, no. baby Julia cried all the time. Christy, possibly not knowing how to respond and wanting to acknowledge in some positive way what she was told, said to Julia that sometimes, babies have a hard time and that life gets better when they get older.

The other side of the paper was crowded with people and things. Julia drew a happy pictures of herself, she drew her classmate Clare and Clare’s mom, she drew lots of toy – little pets of course. She told Christy that she is happy, that she has a friend in Clare, and that she loves her toys.

Saturday night in front of the television

Tonight, I finally finished an old post about our China Group Reunion. And here is a picture that Traci took of four of our girls. I have been fooling around with it -- such a good story.

China Reunion Weekend

Brown County State Park in Indiana, Abe Martin Lodge and five families that travelled to China together two year ago. It was hot and muggy, just like China, but I guess we are use to sweating together. The little girls are all getting ready to turn 3 and all are growing and talking and scampering around. Julia was at her 7 year old best. What a joy to see them all plus the wonderful grownups and siblings that the kids are attached to!

As we had to pass through Indianapolis, we took the opportunity to pick up our ShaDiamon and include her in our weekend. It has been a year since we've seen her last and it was so sweet to spend some time with her. Julia especially enjoyed have her "Diamon" to sleep over in the same hotel room, swim, and run around with. I think that ShaDiamon enjoyed herself as well and we hope to make come Christmas vacation plans.

On Saturday morning, after a big breakfast, we headed down to the stables to ride the appropriate sized horses. David and ShaDiamon joined most of the Scotts to go on a trail ride and the little girls lined up to ride the ponies.

This is an unusual pony ride. I paid for the ride at the cashier and then was told to go over to the ponies who were tied to the fence with a trough in front. I can't remember what the name of Julia's horse was but it was something cute like Noodle, and he was a real pain! I lifted Julia onto the horse and tried to get the horse to disengage from feed, head up, and moving towards the oval. When his head came up, he was headed around the oval faster than I was willing to walk him around. I pushed and pulled and slammed myself against that horse to gt him to slow down and go the way that I wanted him to go. LOL. The video would have been very funny.

Other pony riders included Petra with Kim in the lead . . .

Jaden with Momma Traci . . . .

And Jenae with Daddy Calvin.

Meanwhile, David and ShaDiamon were riding the big ones! Traci caught another side of David's ride.

After a great lunch which Becky planned and Jenae's grandma helped with, naps for the littles, swimming for my girls and Tracie's big kids, the group assembled for dinner.

And then outside for family pictures.

Becky did so much great planning for the weekend. She and Calvin and Jenea are waiting for a son and little brother coming home soon.

Kim and Ed and Petra -- oh that pixie Petra.

The Smiths -- Valerie and Kevin played with ShaDiamon and Julia in the pool and around the lodge. By the end of the weekend, Julia was hugging Kevin and telling him that she would miss him. WE miss all of thm!
Angela and Lainey looking happy and doing so well. We missed Lainey's daddy but we expect him next year.

Us!

Craft Time!

We went back to the lodge to make frames for our new Red Couch picture. I brought plastic frames, stickers, jewels and glue and paper. It was not really as cool as the tee shirts from last year but the kids could almost do these by themselves with only a little bit of mommy coaching. Who knew that we have a few craft shy among us?

Julia found time to make a little sculpture with some play dough. .










The girls ran aound and danced around.

While Tracy and I talked.
Next morning, we tried once again to a great red couch picture. Our previous attempts -- 2006 in China and 2007 in Indianapolis -- were not entirely successful. The best picture taken in 2008 can be found here. The out takes are right here!

Now here is a picture in which no one was smiling. You know how hard that is to get????

Julia was the first to advise us that she was finished posing . . . .

But not the last.

And just one more picture of ShaDiamon and Julia.

It never ceases to amaze me how fortunate we were to travel to China with this wonderful group of people. To have gone on this incredible journey for a daughter was our aim, but we came back with China sisters and dear friends. Our family grows.

Bai Bai & Miao Miao

Today, Julia's best friend in China was adopted by a family who lives in Pennsylvania. I have been following their journey and I am so very happy that the little girl who Julia's calls Meow-Meow has found her family. She is the only person in China that Julia ever talks about. Julia remembers her and sometime says that she is crying or that she is missing Julia.

This little girl, ZhiLan is her given name, is a little less than a year younger than Julia, and according to Julia's papers, they were best friends and even slept together. When I told Julia that Meow-Meow was going to be adopted, Julia told me that Meow-Meow was "going in fast car" and "crying this morning." When I showed Julia the pictures of her friends new sisters, Julia told me that "Happy so many Jei-Jei."

Julia left for school before Meow-Meow's mom, Mindy, posted pictures of their adoption day, so Julia will have to see them later. Oh, the pictures are wonderful! I can't be happier for this little girl, and I can't wait to meet her in person. Mindy wrote that the doll that we sent (with a copy of the only picture that we have of the two of them together around the dolls neck) was a favorite right away. That doll got a lot of kisses from Julia before it left our house and I am sure the Abby Meow-Meow is catching them.

AND, wonder of wonders, Mindy found out about the girls' pet names!! When we were in China we could not get any information out of Mr. Xiao, the orphanage director who delivered Julia. He said that Julia, or ZhiKuang, had no pet name, although it was obvious that Julia did not answer to ZhiKuang. Julia told our guides that she wanted to be called Bye-Bye and later she identified the picture of her with ZhiLan and Bye-Bye and Meow-Meow. Well, the orphange workers that came to deliver ZhiLan told Mindy that the girls' pet names are Miao Miao, which means slender or thin, and Bai Bai which means swaying or walking (how perfect for my girl who dances and flies around our house). Mindy even posted the Chinese characters for the names. I am so very happy to have this little bit of Julia's past. To have a real name for the little one who is now our Julia is to have a little piece of her past. Something that I will keep so safely in my heart for her.

Mindy also wrote that the orphanage workers were very happy to see the photo album that I sent. Although Mr. Xiao was not very helpful or friendly to us when we were in China, I know that there were people who loved and cared for Julia. She could not have been so willing to love and be a part of our family is she had not known love and belonging in her younger life. I hope that all who loved her get to see it.

The orphanage workers were also happy that our families intent to keep in touch because the girls were such good friends. No question about that now!