End of the week

It has been an interesting week. We had absolutely no therapy scheduled for this week (our speech therapist retired and our OT has no time) and David traveled with the court for three days. Julia did miss Daddy, one morning she woke up and asked, "Where is my good friend Daddy?"

At school Julia is still hitting -- grown ups and mostly those that she doesn't know well, not that this is a reason or excuse. We finally, finaly start our family therapy next week. I hope that the therapist can help us with this. I believe it is due to fear and control issues but I have no idea of how to more forward.

I bought some halloween lights -- bats -- and Julia and I put them up, as well as our scarecrow and cat from last year. Julia just loved it. She couldn't wait for the dark to turn on the lights. We remembered that she would go out for candy on halloween night although she has not really picked out what she wants to be yet.

We are having some remembering going on. The other night when I was putting Julia to bed she told me she was sad (and I think scared) that she lost her blue flip-flop. I had to remember myself what she was talking about. During out vacationing when we were at Lisa's house, Julia did indeed lose one of her blue flip flops when she and Sarah were tubing. At the time, Julia did not seem to register her loss and I was surprised because she liked those shoes a lot. Interesting that it comes out now.

More deepening of concentration as well. I see this in Julia's home work and even in her playing. Somewhere between the two -- the other night she and I put together a puzzle and she stayed very focused for a long time even though it was quite frustrating for both of us at times. We were working on it together and a number of times she bent over where I was to place pieces to help me or place her own pieces.

Thursday afternoon we had another violin lesson. It went better than the last one, still not perfect but getting better. I brought Julia home right after school and we did a schedule for the hour -- playing, writing, snack, cleaning up, and then violin. The schedule does center her and gt her ready to concentrate. And she did. She even remembered some things from last week. Lindsey gave her the "cigar box" violin that Suzuki kids start with and Julia was very proud of learning to hold it correctly. We are going to practice rest position and playing position. I continue to hold my breath about violin. It was so good for Cheshire, I would like it to be good for Julia. No, that is not set in stone, but I do hope it will work.

Julia is also touching my arm when she talks to me, a sweet gesture and one that feels very authentic to her. Her anger as it is directed towards me has diminished some and she is more loving. She is also spontaneously telling me that she loves me, not often, but sometimes.

Violin Lesson

Yesterday, Lindsey came and had a violin lesson with Julia. This was not like the last lesson in which I just brought Julia home from school, let her play with her toys and greeted Lindsey. Instead, I planned the time. I made a schedual with Julia. We had a little more than an hour to get ready for Lindsey. The schedule had playing, cleaning up, drawing, and putting away her school stuff. And then there was a drawing of a violin for her lesson. I told her that if she did the first four things she would get one sticker and if she was cooperative during her lesson -- if she listened to Lindsey and did what Lindsey asked her to do -- she would get two stickers. (We didn't get her behavior chart from school, so there was no possibility of getting a sticker from that, and I did not plan to do home work with Julia when we have an after school lesson.)

Julia first balked at the schedule -- what else would she do, she was allowed to play but didn't want to stop -- but I insisted that she put away her coat and back pack first and this gave her something to cross off on the schedule and one step closer to a sticker. She loves crossing out what she has done.

Then she decided to play and after 10 minutes, I gave her a 5 minutes warning, and then a 3, and then a 1. When I told her to stop, I asked her to draw. This was a no brainer transition (more fortunate than planned). I wanted her to draw on the cards that I was taping to her toy bins. The cards were to have words and pictures of what was in the bins. I have to say that she liked the assignment but was not as creative as usual with her drawing -- is this because I assigned it? She drew and together we taped the cards on the boxes. We had another thing to cross off. She cleaned her toys up with almost no protest at all, asked for a bread and butter sandwich, and we were read for Lindsey when she came.

With a clear livingroom with fewer distractions, Julia was able to listen to Lindsey. She was not perfect and she darted off at times to do or find something that seemed to her related to what Lindsey was doing. They listened to music together, learned to hold her violin, and learned to hold a play bow. We are edging closer to a real lesson.

I continue to read Temple Grandin amazed not only by what she has accomplished, but by her clarity, her ideas about education, her opportunities. I read to see how others influenced her -- parents, teachers, colleagues -- and see how important that influence was and is in her life. I take strength from how she 'turned out.' No single smidgeon of energy given to her was wasted. I know that my efforts with Julia are important. I am not always consistent, I do not always do everything possible, but I build every day a tower a little bit higher. I expect her to grow and change. And she does it.

A new violin & my fixed computer

Yes, my computer is back and wonderful! The call from the fix-it guys came in at 4:30. Julia and I jumped in the car and went to retrieve the laptop before the store closed. Virus gone, new protections, and new speakers. So happy not to have to go through another weekend with my machine.

Yesterday, Julia and I met Lindsey who is going to be Julia's violin teacher. I had first contacted her back at the beginning of July but our schedules did not allow a meeting then. This was one of the things that I was hoping to start in the summer when Julia was not in school, but . . . we do it when we can.


Lindsey is a special ed teacher. She did her master's thesis on adapting Suzuki method for kids on the spectrum. She is very excited to get another student on the spectrum and we are very excited to get her. Lindsey came in bringing a shoulder bag full of goodies -- toys to play with, a make-believe bow, cards, and other stuff. Julia was fascinated. Lindsey played Cheshire's violin and Lindsey and Julia played the piano. Julia loved singing that ABC's and Twinkle. The lesson was about 20 minutes long.
The initial plan is that Lindsey is going to teach me beginning violin and we shall wait for Julia to want to join in. Towards that end, Julia and I went to rent a half size violin after school today. I can just see Cheshire rolling her eyes, but I did feel that it was so sweet to be taking home a little violin. I had no idea what Julia would think about getting the violin. She was pretty happy. She was patient when she was measured and the sales person tried two violins on her. She asked me a few times whether this violin was for her and whether she could play it. She carried the violin out to the car proudly. As we were getting into car, she told me that she was going to play Julia's violin, not Cheshire's violin.


We shall see.