Thursday

It is hard to write everything -- even the important things. Sometimes I am not disciplined enough to delve into the behavior, the doings, the learnings that will show me what Julia is learning and how she is developing. I favor instead easy tellings of events of our days. And then, sometimes all I can write is the events and that has to be enough. Breaking through to a place where I write what matters, what I can really learn from, and what can help Julia in the future is where I want to be.

Julia's behavior has been better on this trip than on any other. She does ask about going back to her house and every so often is not pleased that it will be almost two weeks before we are home. She is testy and stubborn at times, sometimes even sitting down on the ground or shouting "no" to make her point, but she is quickly talked down from this impulsive behavior. She is also much more concerned about how I feel. She asks if I am angry or sad, she tells me that she is happy in order to please me. This solicitous behavior alternates with a defiance towards me and a rejection of anything that I say. Tonight, we were working on two letters -- P and R -- and I was trying to have her draw the main line of the letter and then put in the half circle. She did not want to make the letters this way, and yet she seemed to know that her way of making the letters -- drawing a circle and then a line down -- just didn't look like the letters. She has done this sort of this before and at times I've gotten frustrated. Tonight, I kept at her in a calm and steady voice and manner. I told her how I knew she could do it. I told her that she had to listen and do as I say because my way would enable her to make her letters correctly. I told her how smart she was and that listening to me and following my directions would make her smarter. How much did her understand? I am not sure, but this constant patter allowed her to give in in some way and to do what I asked of her.

Julia has also been favoring David when ever he is with us. I know that she gets much more of me than of him, and she enjoys being Daddy's girl, but I feel like she does reject me whenever she can. I don't take this personally. Just maybe this is an attachment issue that we need to work on. Poor David! These last five nights, she has slept in a double bed with him while I have the other bed to myself.

And oh, she loves staying up late! That girl can keep on going way past what I remember Cheshire doing. She will almost never fall asleep anywhere but in bed and anytime but at night. This concerns me to the extent that she might be staying viligent and not allowing her self to rest anytime during the day.

We have been pretty good keeping up with her brushing and theraputic listening during this week. I will be starting her on a new CD later this week. Just 10 minutes during one of the half hour listening times. We'll see what changes it brings.