Question & Answer

Still not feeling that our family therapist is leading us in the right direction, I asked this question at one of my yahoo groups:

We have seen a therapist a few times now. His credentials are not attachment therapy but he is covered by our HMO group, he has worked with adopted kids though mostly domestic, and he has worked with kids on the autistic spectrum (which our daughter may be on. That is, she has the diagnosis but as I watch her grow and change I believe that much of her problem is attachment related). So, our doc has seen us 4 times, every other week or so at his preference. He seems to be continually gathering information, having us talk about Julia's challenges and what we are doing about them. I am concerned that this is taking so long to get started. I need advice now. Do you think I am being impatient? OR is this the way this kind of therapy is done?

And was answered almost immediately:


I'd get on the phone and talk to the www.attachment.org clinic in Colorado.

You should be actively doing therapy, cuddle time, reading time, having her share her feelings, practicing obeying you, repeating what you have asked her etc.
He should be suggesting specific kinds of active intervention at home for her and you, something new to do each week.

You should been seeing significant changes or have had a significant experience with your therapist within the first few sessions. If not I'd question whether this guy can really help you.

Yes you need advice NOW you are not impatient, you need ANSWERS!

A child with AD is extremely stressful and challenging. Just venting about her doesn't work.. it doesn't change her or your experience. It might relieve some stress or anger but goes nowhere otherwise. You need concrete things you can do..... I have talked to so many families who have thrown money at therapists that just wasted their time and didn't really help them at all!

To be honest I have never found much help with traditional therapist because UNLESS they are SPECIFICALLY trained for attachment issues. Why? because they try to use traditional talk methods, sand tray therapy or play therapy, theses kids just bluff their way through. IT doesn't work... IF you read Nancy's book (When love is not enough) it tells you exactly WHAT TO EXPECT from your child's attachment therapist.
HE should always see her with you in the room and work toward you having a relationship with her, not him.

Does that help any? They thought our son had Asperger's a form of autism. Guess what with in a few weeks of attachment therapy this kid proved the school district wrong...with in 5 months and therapy camp we had an entirely different child. The AD therapist said he had RAD from the first session. Was he ever right.. Now nearly a year later he is a healthy , attached, in a regular classroom, functioning normally and above grade intelligence. HE is an entirely different and we saw changes immediately!!!

Where do you live?
A

Now to the phone.