Adult holiday party

We went to a mostly adult holiday party yesterday, and we let Julia loose. Not that we had the choice. If we were going to be there, and she was going to be there, she would make her own way among the guests. She greeted people, asked names – some many too many times -- and questions. She interrupted and spoke out of turn. She add to conversations with her own ramblings that make sense only of you know the movies that she has currently been viewing or the books that we have read over and over or the dinosaurs and animals that she has played with in the last few days. But she moves through the crowd so confidently without allowing the judgment of others to make any different in her behavior. She is not afraid to make a fool of herself, not afraid to approach the wrong person, not afraid to have nothing to say. Maybe it is her autism that gives her such strength, maybe it is not. Part of me hopes that she learns more appropriate social manners before she realizes that she may be offending, part of me wishes that I could live in such a present and greet the whole world without the burdens of ego.

There were two kids at the party – a first grader, Dex, who is a beautiful, charming, mannerly, creative and smart child, and his sister, who has just started middle school and who was polite and social and did not act bored at all when the adults ask her about school. These two kids reminded me so much of Cheshire at those ages. Kids who are used to grownups and their get togethers. It makes me realize how different this parenting experience is. What also reminded me of Cheshire was the way that these two kids reacted to Julia – with kindness, patience, and tolerance. Watching them, I wished for a big sister for Julia, one who was kind and gentle with her, one who challenged and supported her. Someone who Julia could look up to but still be a kid.