We went to our Chinese New Year party today with the local FCC. Lots of families, lots of Chinese children even a few boys, lots of very normal acting children. Sigh.
Thursday night, Julia announced that she was going to wear Chinese clothes to the New Year's party. Okay, I thought. She had nothing left from our China trip, so I thought I'd pick something up in town on Friday. BUT there are no stores in Madison that sell Chinese cothes. I did meet a very nice Chinese woman who runs a very local "Oriental Store" with mostly food stuffs. She told me that she goes to Chicago at least once a week and the next time I want some clothing or anything she could find in China town, she would pick it up. Nice to know.
Anyway, back to the clothes search. I email my friend Cathy who has 4 lovely and older Chinese daughters, and bingo, I had Chinese clothes! Cathy dropped off three dresses on Friday and Julia had a choice of what to wear to the party. She chose the one which fit the best -- nice choice on her part. A light blue traditional Chinese dress which was a bit long on her but made her look . . . well, like some romantic picture of a Chinese girl. Julia wanted high pig tails with her special ribbons and we even put on lip stick. Julia's mother who never wears make up put some on her own lips. LOL. Julia was surprised.
Julia, of course, never acted like she really wanted the Chinese dresses when Cathy and her girls came over. She does love Cathy's girls but they did overwhelm her. She finally . . sort of recognized one of the girls. Recognized is not the right word, maybe processed or was able to acknowledge. She was unable to really deal with having them over for a surprise visit. I now wonder how many times this had happened when I did not notice.
Julia was overjoyed to have a choice of dresses today. And after we dress and did her hair as she wanted it, she looked at herself in the mirror and told me she was a Chinese girl. She was so proud. It made me very happy.
The Fitchburh Civic Center was full when we got there and Julia immediately ran off to try to talk to girls. There was a whole group of girls in one corner who were getting ready to perform for the rest of us. All those lovely children in red Chinese costumes and my dear little one in sky blue. Well, there is a metaphor for sure. Julia loved watching the dancing girls and the girls who played the small red drums. Last year, watching similar performances, I told Julia that one day she would dance like those girls or play the drums if she wanted to. I did not say that this year. I don't know if she will ever do that. If she regulates enough to follow directions, we could try but she still needs to be within the appropriate age range. It makes me sad that Julia is not like all those others, or at least most of those others, but she is who she is.
We met up with a family who has a Chinese daughter who is Julia's age and who is also on the spectrum. We talked about therapies, playgroups, and school. Our own subset within the whole.
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