A tough day

Julia had another tough day today. She seems tired and lost in herself. A bit zombie like. She is also irritable, lashing out with mean words and hitting, punching or stomping on feet. I called the doc and he said to hold tight until we see him next week. I'll keep taking notes on her behavior and report to him.

But even with this tough day, Julia is still herself. She is talking constantly about Christmas -- a nice break from dinosaurs and bugs. She is excited and remembers buying the tree last year. She wants to put up light outside and points out other houses with lights. She is talking about gifts as well, claiming every toy that she is attracted, but she also talks about gifts for David and I and Cheshire as well. Yesterday, she brought home a bracelet for me made out of two pipecleaners braided together. Today, she brought home a picture of our house at Christmas. There is a big tree, decorated with lights and bulbs and a big yellow star on top. There are 7 presents around the tree and a bear that Julia said was for me. Next to the tree is a fire place with a burning fire and candles on top of the mantle.

I am feeling both fragile and strong. Waiting. Is not easy. I need to connect the people who have offered help to us while David is in the hospital. I need to pack a bag for Julia, in case she needs it, and write out her schedule, and what she takes to school for lunch and what she likes for dinner. There is a phone tree to work on and an email list. And I have the rediculous idea that the house needs to be kept clean so the life in and out of the hospital will be easier.

Nesting?