Day 4 Afternoon

It is almost 3. David is dozing and boy, does he need it! He still has not slept for any length of time and they still have not gotten his tubes out.

But wait! The doc is in with him now --taking tubes out! I hope this will reduce his pain and let him really get some rest. Interesting thing about heart transplant is that they don't give much pain killer. He is taking Tylenol with codeine for pain but nothing else. This has to do with the amount of drugs running through him, but boy is it tough.

David is feeling very weak and tired. Drugs are being withdrawn, his new heart is managing his blood pressure better today than yesterday, and he is meeting the goals that are set for him. But all of this means that his body is more and more on its own. The adrenalin of the last few days has worn off and the aftermath of this tremendous surgery is setting in. A good night's sleep would do him a lot of good. Maybe tonight, or very soon.

I am losing track of my days! Cheshire and I worried about David seeming to be disoriented last night, but neither of us are much better. We lose days and forget what we have just said. I don't know whether it is fair to hold David to a higher standard considering the new heart and plethora of drugs being pumped into him. He was taken off the pacemaker and the drugs that kept his heart beating strong. He just told me that he can feel this heart beating which he finds strange. How weird it must be to have a heart that is working at least 3x better than the one that was there 4 days ago.

They brought him a food tray today for the first time, albeit with jello, tea, juice and water, but that too is a step forward.

The staff mentioned that he might be able to go home on Thursday. I will not hold them to that day but it is so very nice to hear them talk about going home. He will have a lot of restrictions when he first gets home and I just hope that he will listen to all of them. Fierce independence is a great thing in most circumstances, not after a transplant.

Julia came in today today to see David. She was in for a pretty short time. Her energy was too intense but she needed to see Daddy. She loves him so much. She made a lovely card yesterday, telling him to get better and drawing and pasting on many, many hearts. She was hugging me and Cheshire a good deal this morning too. Our friends, Robert and Mary, picked Julia up from the hospital and whisked her away. I can sit with David and Cheshire can go home and take a nap and a shower. When I stepped into the shower this morning I almost could not remember when was my last shower.

Okay, we are not living through civil war or natural disaster. I know. And I am being a bit of a baby talking about my lack of showering and sleep. Indulge me, please.

Julia and I went to bed before nine last night and slept until 8 this morning. It helped me incredibly! I've been keeping up with what I need to do, but I am hoping to find someone to clean the house before David gets home. Silly me to imagine that I would find the time to do it. And time is this crazy thing. Robert asked me what I was doing with my time with David. What? Well, I write some, wander the internet some (Still reading about kitchen renovation to sanity), I can't read and sustained tv watching is impossible. I sit mostly. Sit. Watch David. Get him water. Call the nurse. Watch him sleep. Say a few words. Sit and watch some more. Day blends into night into day again. I felt last night that I couldn't wait to have another 24 hours finished with, and it is almost another day passed. Even though David complains of pain and weakness, I see improvement.