A visit with MiaoMiao!

It is still hard to have Julia stand side by side with her peers and for me to make any comparison. Why I still find need to compare her to anyone is a good question. If I am expecting her to develop into such an individual, her only measure is what she did yesterday and what she will do tomorrow.

Yesterday, we visited Julia’s orphanage sister, MiaoMiao. I drove to Pennsylvania and we spent about 4 hours with MiaoMiao, her sisters, and mother. I am so very glad that her mother wants us to stay in touch and keep up some kind of relationship for the girls, but I am worried some. MiaoMiao, a year and a half younger and home about 6 months less than Julia, is far beyond Julia in her maturity, her communication and social skills, her use of her intelligence. She accepted Julia and played with her. Julia was first uncomfortable – sitting on the front lawn of the house as MiaoMiao danced around her – and then very happy to see her, but will/was MiaoMiao embarrassed or disappointed by her friend’s behavior. Does she think that Julia is a baby, unable to understand her, stupid? Julia is who she is and is making the progress that she is making. I want to continue to be in touch with MiaoMiao, albeit on a very limited basis because of our distance, I want to save the friendship so that they both have it when they are grown. I do have a bit of fear that Julia will be rejected.

Cheshire said, that she perceived some discomfort in MiaoMiao. Cheshire compared it to my relationship with Carolina, almost mute with alzheimer’s – that I am living, moving on, going past my dear friend, and she is frozen where she is, no longer able to be anything more than be physically present and my friend only in memory which may be all mine. The relationship between Julia and MiaoMiao is not so dramatic, but I can patiently visit Carolina and do what I can to connect, be sad, but still be there. My question is whether MiaoMiao can be that patient with Julia.

Julia and MiaoMiao played dress up, which Julia rarely does. She was a princess, and then a ballerina. MiaoMiao put a braid in Julia’s hair, and presented her handiwork, mentioning how she dressed and braided Julia. Julia very happily explored her friend’s house and room, and played with her toys and her sisters. It was interesting to see Julia and MiaoMiao play together with the same kind of tiny toys – poly pocket instead of little pets – both of them seem to have an interest in the very small. MiaoMiao has developed into a girly girl, with dolls and dress up and princesses. Julia tends to sit more on the tom boy side of the fence, although nothing compares to being dressed as a ballerina. When Julia draws figures now, she sometimes adds crossed lines to the shoes which makes the person or animal or fish into someone "doing ballet."
All the girls sat at a big kitchen table to have lunch together – hard boiled eggs, hotdogs, watermelon, and little cupcakes. Julia was in heaven. She tried to direct all the girls, as she does. She was able to answer a few questions that the sisters asked. (She really has her age down pat and answer the "how old are you question" of almost anyone.). Julia and MiaoMiao were referring to each other by their American names most of the time, although neither rejected the other for the names they were called in China.

The girls went to ride bikes on the drive way, and as MiaoMiao rode loops on her two wheeler, Julia struggle on a bike with training wheels. We took a walk around the block with one of the sisters pulling a wagon that Julia and MiaoMiao rode in. What did they talk about? Julia is still so alive in the present, I wonder how she regards MiaoMiao.

When it was time to leave, both girls wanted to stay together, but it was Julia who wanted the extra hugs. MiaoMiao did run to the car and did wave very hard. Oh, I hope they can stay friends.