Julia of the morning

Now that I got all my bitchiness out of my system -- okay, not all, I have some left over for later complaints -- I did want to write a bit about Julia. When I wrote last night, I was excited, awed, and frustrated at the same time. How incredible that Julia said something about China. BUT OH, how I wish I could have figured more out! It is hard to refrain from further inferences, to fill in the details, to suggest more questions for her to answer with yeses or noes. I want it to come for her, not from my suggestions. I want to take a industrial vacuum to the cobwebs of fear and anger that are in that girl's head. I want to administer strong antibiotics to the sadness in her heart and soul. I feel like I am armed with a feather duster and a few St. Joseph's Aspirin.

Am I stretching my metaphors too far?

Last night, she also told me that she cried and cried the day that she met us. She said she was very sad. This is the second time that I've heard this. When MiaoMiao's parents were in China to get her, Julia said that MiaoMiao would be crying all that day in the car. I figured that she was really talking about her own experience. She repeated over and over that she does not belong there -- in China -- and I told her over and over that she belonged with her Mommy and Daddy.

She woke up today happy and excited about our weekend plans. She was very sweet and incredibly cooperative. She dressed herself, packed up her purple backpack, put toys away, and did a lot of little tasks that I sent her on. She is wearing a new light pink sweatshirt and a new to us jeans jacket. She loves both of them and they look so good on her. She still thanks me for clothes. She came out of the house telling me it was a beautiful day -- she has observed this before and there is something oh so old fashion about this sprite commenting on the beauty of the morning.

I have to wonder if she cleared a little something last night. If she was a bit lighter, a bit freer. I know it was only one memory and only a fragment that I understood. Maybe I am just being optimistic and wanting her so much to heal.