Google ads are creepy. One that recently popped up for me promised to "make your RAD child easy to live with." Yeah, and if you buy that quick fix, I have a bridge . . . .
Julia and I have been doing trauma work this weekend. Marilyn told me to tell her abadonment stories using animals. And so, after we put some of her angries and fears into the closet with the white door and pink door knob, I told her about three little birds in a nest whose Mama leaves the nest to get worms and doesn't come back. Julia's eyes were very wide when I told her this. She suggested that the mama comes back later, but I insisted that the mama was gone. I went on to say that other mama's from other nests sometimes brought worms but that they had their own nests to keep warm and well fed. I told her that the babies were cold and hungry and very, very sad. At this point, Julia's eye were so big that I could not help but end the story with a mother bird who had lost her eggs and decided to love and be the mama to the babies in the nest. Marilyn did not tell me to find the happy ending, but I felt that it was just what Julia needed.
The same day, I was going through the mess of a desk I have and needed to look in our China File for some documents. Julia saw the pictures of her at the orphanage (we were given 5 from the time of our referral to our meeting her). We don't hide these at all but Julia has not been interested in them. She recognized herself in the pictures and told me that she "doesn't belong there." I asked her if she was happy there and she told me no. I asked if she wants to go back to visit, like we visit Babja, and she said no. I asked where she does belong and she said "at home." David came in and asked about the picture in which she was holding on to cribs. She denied sleeping there and told him she doesn't belong there. We made a big deal about her belonging with us and in our family house. She seemed satisfied.
We took Julia to the Shriner's circus on Saturday afternoon. She had a GREAT time! Amazing, that last year at this time, we went to a festival that had a short circus presentation that was really too stimulating for her to sit through. On Saturday, there was noise, crazy lights, clowns, elephants, tigers, and all the junk food smells you could imagine. She handled it all like a pro and then played circus with her animals once she got home. And she told everyone on Sunday that she loved the circus.
On Sunday, we went to an oscar party for a little while. It was all adults and Julia. She tried to be social, in her own way, with everyone. She asked names, offered part of whatever she was eating, and stood in front of the tv at times. Some of the adults didn't get her, some found her charming, some just put up with her. We use to take Cheshire everywhere we went when she was little, much littler actually. When she was 2 and 3, she was similarly too friendly. Our friends dotted on her then and she grew so much socially. I am hoping the same for Julia -- a latr learner of social graces but such an eager and willing student.
We leave for Florida on Thursday. We talked about it this morning on our way to school. Julia difinitly remember the beach and all she did there last year. Cheshire will also be joining us for the weekend as we celebrate Grandpa's 90th birthday.
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