I have been waking up very early, writing a bit, emails mostly, and going back to sleep. Crazy, and much like my menopause days -- can I actually remember that fondly? Julia is sleeping beside me. I was snuggle with her soon. I rearranged the bedroom slightly and will do more when I get back from traveling. Slowly, I need to make this house mine. Not quickly because I want what is left of David to linger. But somehow, I don't want it to become cold -- I don't want lumps of death. I need light and air and a memory of David alive. It is not in his messy desk, cluttered with medication notes and pill bottles.
Cheshire found a folder of new writing that David was doing. I am so sad to know that it will not be finished, but rejoice that he felt the creative urge and was starting his word work again. He did have a bit of the optimist in him. Even when he was ill.
back to sleep. I hope.
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