05 February 2012

written 4 February 2012

I may have fixed my video problem by uninstalling the flash player and reinstalling it. I think my version needed updating. Oh, I hope that is what I needed. Funny about tasks like that. If David was alive, I’d just hand it off to him and he’d figure it out. It is not that I couldn’t do it, but he did it better, quicker, and I didn’t really like fooling with it. Same with my printer that I battle with some of the time these days.

Is that what marriage is? A pair who each take on the tasks they prefer. Who retreat from those which are a bit too challenging? David used to cut the girls’ finger and toe nails. I am just awful at it. Too many years of biting my nails and now that I don’t bite my nails, I could use him to tell my when and how to cut mine. With Julia’s skin picking and scratching, I have had to cut finger nails short and often. Of course, I can and could do it. It was a matter of brining my attention to the task.

How many tasks are like that? Right now, I can think of the many things that David did. How he contributed to our family in terms of tasks. I can’t think of many things that I did at all. And yet, taking over all of the chores and tasks has been burdensome but not impossible and so I did have a half of some sort that I did.

Neither of us like making the bed. And my bed is still not made. Sometimes I straighten the quilt, but that is all. Things change, some things don’t.

Julia is being difficult for her therapist this morning. She is more stubborn than usual and less willing to do what the therapist suggests. She needs to learn to share the lead and that is a difficult lesson today. She settles into a math crossword puzzle -- the kid really loves crossword puzzles. Is it because it is a word game -- in this case a number game -- that doesn’t involve comprehension?

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