Tonight, I finally finished an old post about our China Group Reunion. And here is a picture that Traci took of four of our girls. I have been fooling around with it -- such a good story.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
27 September 2008
29 August 2008
Our second family day
Two years ago today Xiao Zhi Kuang became Julia ZhiKuang Buchko Schanker in the eyes of the People's Republic of China. We had known Julia for close to 24 hours, worried about her behavior, and fallen in love with the little girl whose picture we had stared at for five months.
Today, Julia and I had a lovely end of summer day. We watched Sesame Street over breakfast, finished cleaning up and sorting all of her little toys into new and/or different plastic boxes, then went to our community pool where we ate our packed lunch and swam for most of the afternoon. We came home before David arrived home from work, and Julia played with her toys. Once he was home we decided to go to a Dance. Yes, indeedy, there are Dane (County) Dances in August. This was the first one that we went to. It was on the roof at our Ovature Center, a concert venue that sits on one of the lakes. The view was great, the weather perfect. There were food venders for our supper and a great band with lots of people around for dancing. Julia wanted to dance close to the band, but close to the band was close to the speakers and that was too loud for her. We went to the back of the dance space and had a great time. I swung her around, had her doing circles under my arm, and jumped around with her. Julia insisted that she dance with me and with David and then insisted that David and I dance.
This wonderful child, full of challenges and full of surprises. This child who molds our days and who has changed our family in many way. This child is ours and we are hers. How glorious that is.
Other Julia happenings:
Julia was not particularly excited to visit her school yesterday, but she hugged Christy when she saw her and talked and talked to her. She went around the familiar classroom (Julia's teacher, Christy, is teaching a K-1 class this year and we are sooo pleased that Julia is in this class), touching, playing, saying hi to kids she knew and new kids. There is another adopted Chinese girl in her class. I've spoken with her father at the beginning of the summer. Julia went up to the little girl and welcomed her into the class. By the time it was ready to go into the playground for popcicles, Julia was having fun. This morning she asked me when I was going to let her go to school again. This is not wild enthusiam, but it is definite interest. Yahoo!
Julia and I played a short matching game today. I put out 8 cards at a time and when we got down to 2 cards I put out six more. Julia was able to turn over two at a time, remember where certain matches sometimes, and took pleasure in piling up her matching cards.
Our speech therapist, Carol, is retiring at the end of September. I am thrilled for her. She has been great with Julia and has compared notes with our OT therapist which has been wonderful. She will be so missed.
We visited a family therapist, Lance Woods, who has worked with adopted kids, kids who have experienced trauma, and kids on the spectrum. I am hoping to do attachment therapy with him and to understand more of Julia. We told him that our concerns were Julia's anger, especially towards me, and her inability really relax or nap. I am feeling like that second concern is about hypervilence. I don't know how feeling about this therapist. I did not immediately connect with him. He told us that kids with attachment issues never really recover and that we may never have the same relationship with Julia that we have with Cheshire. This may be the truth. I don't know. Possibility this is a reality that he feels he needs to tell new clients. To me, it is needlessly pessimistic. And I believe that our relationship with Julia is pretty good, not perfect, and we have work to do to make it truly and fully loving, but we have come so far.
On another front: I still have a laptop with a virus. I am giving up trying to do something about it myself and surrender it to the official geeks to be cleaned and serviced. I am not writing emails and not using any of my other programs. I hope to be up to speed again before long.
Today, Julia and I had a lovely end of summer day. We watched Sesame Street over breakfast, finished cleaning up and sorting all of her little toys into new and/or different plastic boxes, then went to our community pool where we ate our packed lunch and swam for most of the afternoon. We came home before David arrived home from work, and Julia played with her toys. Once he was home we decided to go to a Dance. Yes, indeedy, there are Dane (County) Dances in August. This was the first one that we went to. It was on the roof at our Ovature Center, a concert venue that sits on one of the lakes. The view was great, the weather perfect. There were food venders for our supper and a great band with lots of people around for dancing. Julia wanted to dance close to the band, but close to the band was close to the speakers and that was too loud for her. We went to the back of the dance space and had a great time. I swung her around, had her doing circles under my arm, and jumped around with her. Julia insisted that she dance with me and with David and then insisted that David and I dance.
This wonderful child, full of challenges and full of surprises. This child who molds our days and who has changed our family in many way. This child is ours and we are hers. How glorious that is.
Other Julia happenings:
Julia was not particularly excited to visit her school yesterday, but she hugged Christy when she saw her and talked and talked to her. She went around the familiar classroom (Julia's teacher, Christy, is teaching a K-1 class this year and we are sooo pleased that Julia is in this class), touching, playing, saying hi to kids she knew and new kids. There is another adopted Chinese girl in her class. I've spoken with her father at the beginning of the summer. Julia went up to the little girl and welcomed her into the class. By the time it was ready to go into the playground for popcicles, Julia was having fun. This morning she asked me when I was going to let her go to school again. This is not wild enthusiam, but it is definite interest. Yahoo!
Julia and I played a short matching game today. I put out 8 cards at a time and when we got down to 2 cards I put out six more. Julia was able to turn over two at a time, remember where certain matches sometimes, and took pleasure in piling up her matching cards.
Our speech therapist, Carol, is retiring at the end of September. I am thrilled for her. She has been great with Julia and has compared notes with our OT therapist which has been wonderful. She will be so missed.
We visited a family therapist, Lance Woods, who has worked with adopted kids, kids who have experienced trauma, and kids on the spectrum. I am hoping to do attachment therapy with him and to understand more of Julia. We told him that our concerns were Julia's anger, especially towards me, and her inability really relax or nap. I am feeling like that second concern is about hypervilence. I don't know how feeling about this therapist. I did not immediately connect with him. He told us that kids with attachment issues never really recover and that we may never have the same relationship with Julia that we have with Cheshire. This may be the truth. I don't know. Possibility this is a reality that he feels he needs to tell new clients. To me, it is needlessly pessimistic. And I believe that our relationship with Julia is pretty good, not perfect, and we have work to do to make it truly and fully loving, but we have come so far.
On another front: I still have a laptop with a virus. I am giving up trying to do something about it myself and surrender it to the official geeks to be cleaned and serviced. I am not writing emails and not using any of my other programs. I hope to be up to speed again before long.
25 August 2008
China Reunion Weekend
Brown County State Park in Indiana, Abe Martin Lodge and five families that travelled to China together two year ago. It was hot and muggy, just like China, but I guess we are use to sweating together. The little girls are all getting ready to turn 3 and all are growing and talking and scampering around. Julia was at her 7 year old best. What a joy to see them all plus the wonderful grownups and siblings that the kids are attached to!
As we had to pass through Indianapolis, we took the opportunity to pick up our ShaDiamon and include her in our weekend. It has been a year since we've seen her last and it was so sweet to spend some time with her. Julia especially enjoyed have her "Diamon" to sleep over in the same hotel room, swim, and run around with. I think that ShaDiamon enjoyed herself as well and we hope to make come Christmas vacation plans.
On Saturday morning, after a big breakfast, we headed down to the stables to ride the appropriate sized horses. David and ShaDiamon joined most of the Scotts to go on a trail ride and the little girls lined up to ride the ponies.
This is an unusual pony ride. I paid for the ride at the cashier and then was told to go over to the ponies who were tied to the fence with a trough in front. I can't remember what the name of Julia's horse was but it was something cute like Noodle, and he was a real pain! I lifted Julia onto the horse and tried to get the horse to disengage from feed, head up, and moving towards the oval. When his head came up, he was headed around the oval faster than I was willing to walk him around. I pushed and pulled and slammed myself against that horse to gt him to slow down and go the way that I wanted him to go. LOL. The video would have been very funny.
Other pony riders included Petra with Kim in the lead . . . 
Jaden with Momma Traci . . . .
Jaden with Momma Traci . . . .
And Jenae with Daddy Calvin.
After a great lunch which Becky planned and Jenae's grandma helped with, naps for the littles, swimming for my girls and Tracie's big kids, the group assembled for dinner.And then outside for family pictures.
Becky did so much great planning for the weekend. She and Calvin and Jenea are waiting for a son and little brother coming home soon.
Kim and Ed and Petra -- oh that pixie Petra.The Smiths -- Valerie and Kevin played with ShaDiamon and Julia in the pool and around the lodge. By the end of the weekend, Julia was hugging Kevin and telling him that she would miss him. WE miss all of thm!
Angela and Lainey looking happy and doing so well. We missed Lainey's daddy but we expect him next year.
Us! 
Craft Time!
We went back to the lodge to make frames for our new Red Couch picture. I brought plastic frames, stickers, jewels and glue and paper. It was not really as cool as the tee shirts from last year but the kids could almost do these by themselves with only a little bit of mommy coaching. Who knew that we have a few craft shy among us?
Julia found time to make a little sculpture with some play dough. .
The girls ran aound and danced around.
While Tracy and I talked
.Next morning,
we tried once again to a great red couch picture. Our previous attempts -- 2006 in China and 2007 in Indianapolis -- were not entirely successful. The best picture taken in 2008 can be found here. The out takes are right here! Now here is a picture in which no one was smiling. You know how hard that is to get????
Julia was the first to advise us that she was finished posing . . . .
And just one more picture of ShaDiamon and Julia.
It never ceases to amaze me how fortunate we were to travel to China with this wonderful group of people. To have gone on this incredible journey for a daughter was our aim, but we came back with China sisters and dear friends. Our family grows.
24 September 2007
Research
New Project: to gather any and all information I can about XiaJiang SWI, where Julis lived before she joined our family. As we begin assessments and therapy, I am asked over and over about her background. I have so little information, and not just for docs but for our family and for Julia. For Julia, when she returns to China to visit. And for this mother's heart. It is hard not to know your child. So I posted this message on all the yahoo boards that I belong it, and hope that it yeilds some information.
Hello all,
XiaJiang is a small orphanage in JiangXi province about three hours from Nanchang. Our Julia Bai Bai lived for five years there and we have very little information about the orphanage and what she did there. Now that she is home a year and starting some therapy and assessments, I am interested in compiling anything I can about what life was like at XiaJiang. The officials there are very private and direct questions to them go unanswered most of the time. I am interested in talking to, emailing, any families who have brought children home from XiaJiang. You can also join or visit the XiaJiang yahoo group to become involved in this ongoing research and discussion.
I promise to protect privacy and to share the information I find with anyone who provides me with information. My hope is to have some information to give to Julia when and if she is interested, and to better understand Julia's character and behavior.
Thanks for any help you could give,SuzanneJuia Bai Bai's geeky mommy
ps I am going to post this to any group that I belong to that seems at all relevant, please forgive repetition if you belong to the same groups that I do.
Hello all,
XiaJiang is a small orphanage in JiangXi province about three hours from Nanchang. Our Julia Bai Bai lived for five years there and we have very little information about the orphanage and what she did there. Now that she is home a year and starting some therapy and assessments, I am interested in compiling anything I can about what life was like at XiaJiang. The officials there are very private and direct questions to them go unanswered most of the time. I am interested in talking to, emailing, any families who have brought children home from XiaJiang. You can also join or visit the XiaJiang yahoo group to become involved in this ongoing research and discussion.
I promise to protect privacy and to share the information I find with anyone who provides me with information. My hope is to have some information to give to Julia when and if she is interested, and to better understand Julia's character and behavior.
Thanks for any help you could give,SuzanneJuia Bai Bai's geeky mommy
ps I am going to post this to any group that I belong to that seems at all relevant, please forgive repetition if you belong to the same groups that I do.
01 August 2007
A very few pictures from the FTIA picnic
Julia loved this spinning wonder. I can't even watch it without my anti-sickness wrist bands.href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglFjTxwkR_s2H5Xm_sJn7KDsExLec6KddhSHRLV6ZlfNC3VAQjOMIiNIB-oLXs4Wk7cU6KG3y2JZts5KSopeGctdtsNKZgfpyXdfjlYvTosRjG6j54Gj16sisUZyHv5Drai6hFff39js8/s1600-h/100_1867a.jpg">
Three of the girls in this picture, were still in China this time last year. The other two have been home for a few years. Who is who?
Julia practicing very good behavior as she patiently waits her turn on the big slide. Anyone read about "waiting on line Thursday" in the NY Times?
Julia sad of this picture -- "Julia sitting down." And she so rarely sits down! This is the end of a long, fun-filled day.
29 July 2007
U Trucks
The moon is full and peaking through parched leaves. I wonder when the moon will move from the top of our street to the middle of our closest lake. I did not know the pleasure of walking by a lake until Chicago. I did not know that my time near the great lake of Chicago was a preview of our Madison time. Walking Latkah at night this summer is a rare pleasure.
Last weekend, the three of us went to the Dane County Fair. Another thing in Madison that is relatively close by our house. We saw all the usual state fair displays – horses, pigs, chickens, bunnies, cows, llamas, and sheep. We saw some judging and some young riders practicing their dressage. We saw tractors and farm equipment, soy beans and corn. Then we went to the amusement part and the fun began. We bought Julia a wrist band that allowed her to ride all the rides she wanted to. She rode the little dragon roller coaster 5 times and the bumble bees 4 time and plenty of other rides 2 or three times. Julia was not incredibly crazy when she and I rode the big Ferris wheel, but looked longingly at the spinning, upside down, much too fast adult rides. However, her favorite ride was a small horse carousel where she could ride a horse round and round with no one holding her on. We had lunch at the fair and Julia had her first corn dog! I guess she is a mid-westerner now.
We have been working during the week on letters and numbers in a very informal way. I get out the big dry erase board and we draw pictures and I write the first letters of things we are drawing. Julia was not necessarily interested in what I was doing at first. She is now repeating letters, their sounds, and the words with those sounds. We make letters out of clay and the J or K or W join forces with the dinosaurs and long eared rabbits and sleep on clay beds or ride on clay carriages. Two days ago we were at a rest stop as we were traveling and she saw a U-Haul advertizement in which a large U was on the back of a flat bed truck. Julia pointed to the picture and said, "Mommy, U truck." It was the first time she noticed a letter. Break through?
Julia’s world expands slowly. We worry at times that it is too slowly. She has learned most of her colors but doesn’t understand why we count. She likes to be read to and to make up songs to melodies she knows but she has not memorized our simple Madeline grace or learned to answer "yes, mommy" when I ask if she is all right where she is. Most of the time, I see the progress that she is making and how she works at her life. Sometimes I can step back and worry just a bit.
Julia and I traveled to Indianapolis this weekend to visit Marcia and Matthew and to attend FTIA (our adoption agency)’s reunion picnic. It was great to stay with Marcia and Matthew and eat and swim and talk together. Matthew bought a new Harry Potter video game that looked like quite a lot of fun – not that he was ready to let the controls out of his hands. Maybe next time I can cast a spell or two.
The picnic was wonderful to go to. Last year we went and met some of our travel mates and saw children! This year I bought Julia. I cannot quite describe, or describe well, the scene of children from China, Vietnam, Russia, South and Central America with parent who so wanted this kids that they traveled the world to find them. So many beautiful children; so many happy families. It was so much fun meeting children whose pictures I’ve seen on the internet and whose parents I’ve corresponded with through yahoo groups and email. What a thrill to have someone see Julia or read the name tag that was on her back and say in surprise, "Julia Bai Bai. And you must be Suzanne."
Last weekend, the three of us went to the Dane County Fair. Another thing in Madison that is relatively close by our house. We saw all the usual state fair displays – horses, pigs, chickens, bunnies, cows, llamas, and sheep. We saw some judging and some young riders practicing their dressage. We saw tractors and farm equipment, soy beans and corn. Then we went to the amusement part and the fun began. We bought Julia a wrist band that allowed her to ride all the rides she wanted to. She rode the little dragon roller coaster 5 times and the bumble bees 4 time and plenty of other rides 2 or three times. Julia was not incredibly crazy when she and I rode the big Ferris wheel, but looked longingly at the spinning, upside down, much too fast adult rides. However, her favorite ride was a small horse carousel where she could ride a horse round and round with no one holding her on. We had lunch at the fair and Julia had her first corn dog! I guess she is a mid-westerner now.
We have been working during the week on letters and numbers in a very informal way. I get out the big dry erase board and we draw pictures and I write the first letters of things we are drawing. Julia was not necessarily interested in what I was doing at first. She is now repeating letters, their sounds, and the words with those sounds. We make letters out of clay and the J or K or W join forces with the dinosaurs and long eared rabbits and sleep on clay beds or ride on clay carriages. Two days ago we were at a rest stop as we were traveling and she saw a U-Haul advertizement in which a large U was on the back of a flat bed truck. Julia pointed to the picture and said, "Mommy, U truck." It was the first time she noticed a letter. Break through?
Julia’s world expands slowly. We worry at times that it is too slowly. She has learned most of her colors but doesn’t understand why we count. She likes to be read to and to make up songs to melodies she knows but she has not memorized our simple Madeline grace or learned to answer "yes, mommy" when I ask if she is all right where she is. Most of the time, I see the progress that she is making and how she works at her life. Sometimes I can step back and worry just a bit.
Julia and I traveled to Indianapolis this weekend to visit Marcia and Matthew and to attend FTIA (our adoption agency)’s reunion picnic. It was great to stay with Marcia and Matthew and eat and swim and talk together. Matthew bought a new Harry Potter video game that looked like quite a lot of fun – not that he was ready to let the controls out of his hands. Maybe next time I can cast a spell or two.
The picnic was wonderful to go to. Last year we went and met some of our travel mates and saw children! This year I bought Julia. I cannot quite describe, or describe well, the scene of children from China, Vietnam, Russia, South and Central America with parent who so wanted this kids that they traveled the world to find them. So many beautiful children; so many happy families. It was so much fun meeting children whose pictures I’ve seen on the internet and whose parents I’ve corresponded with through yahoo groups and email. What a thrill to have someone see Julia or read the name tag that was on her back and say in surprise, "Julia Bai Bai. And you must be Suzanne."
08 May 2007
Bai Bai & Miao Miao
Today, Julia's best friend in China was adopted by a family who lives in Pennsylvania. I have been following their journey and I am so very happy that the little girl who Julia's calls Meow-Meow has found her family. She is the only person in China that Julia ever talks about. Julia remembers her and sometime says that she is crying or that she is missing Julia.
This little girl, ZhiLan is her given name, is a little less than a year younger than Julia, and according to Julia's papers, they were best friends and even slept together. When I told Julia that Meow-Meow was going to be adopted, Julia told me that Meow-Meow was "going in fast car" and "crying this morning." When I showed Julia the pictures of her friends new sisters, Julia told me that "Happy so many Jei-Jei."
Julia left for school before Meow-Meow's mom, Mindy, posted pictures of their adoption day, so Julia will have to see them later. Oh, the pictures are wonderful! I can't be happier for this little girl, and I can't wait to meet her in person. Mindy wrote that the doll that we sent (with a copy of the only picture that we have of the two of them together around the dolls neck) was a favorite right away. That doll got a lot of kisses from Julia before it left our house and I am sure the Abby Meow-Meow is catching them.
AND, wonder of wonders, Mindy found out about the girls' pet names!! When we were in China we could not get any information out of Mr. Xiao, the orphanage director who delivered Julia. He said that Julia, or ZhiKuang, had no pet name, although it was obvious that Julia did not answer to ZhiKuang. Julia told our guides that she wanted to be called Bye-Bye and later she identified the picture of her with ZhiLan and Bye-Bye and Meow-Meow. Well, the orphange workers that came to deliver ZhiLan told Mindy that the girls' pet names are Miao Miao, which means slender or thin, and Bai Bai which means swaying or walking (how perfect for my girl who dances and flies around our house). Mindy even posted the Chinese characters for the names. I am so very happy to have this little bit of Julia's past. To have a real name for the little one who is now our Julia is to have a little piece of her past. Something that I will keep so safely in my heart for her.
Mindy also wrote that the orphanage workers were very happy to see the photo album that I sent. Although Mr. Xiao was not very helpful or friendly to us when we were in China, I know that there were people who loved and cared for Julia. She could not have been so willing to love and be a part of our family is she had not known love and belonging in her younger life. I hope that all who loved her get to see it.
The orphanage workers were also happy that our families intent to keep in touch because the girls were such good friends. No question about that now!
This little girl, ZhiLan is her given name, is a little less than a year younger than Julia, and according to Julia's papers, they were best friends and even slept together. When I told Julia that Meow-Meow was going to be adopted, Julia told me that Meow-Meow was "going in fast car" and "crying this morning." When I showed Julia the pictures of her friends new sisters, Julia told me that "Happy so many Jei-Jei."
Julia left for school before Meow-Meow's mom, Mindy, posted pictures of their adoption day, so Julia will have to see them later. Oh, the pictures are wonderful! I can't be happier for this little girl, and I can't wait to meet her in person. Mindy wrote that the doll that we sent (with a copy of the only picture that we have of the two of them together around the dolls neck) was a favorite right away. That doll got a lot of kisses from Julia before it left our house and I am sure the Abby Meow-Meow is catching them.
AND, wonder of wonders, Mindy found out about the girls' pet names!! When we were in China we could not get any information out of Mr. Xiao, the orphanage director who delivered Julia. He said that Julia, or ZhiKuang, had no pet name, although it was obvious that Julia did not answer to ZhiKuang. Julia told our guides that she wanted to be called Bye-Bye and later she identified the picture of her with ZhiLan and Bye-Bye and Meow-Meow. Well, the orphange workers that came to deliver ZhiLan told Mindy that the girls' pet names are Miao Miao, which means slender or thin, and Bai Bai which means swaying or walking (how perfect for my girl who dances and flies around our house). Mindy even posted the Chinese characters for the names. I am so very happy to have this little bit of Julia's past. To have a real name for the little one who is now our Julia is to have a little piece of her past. Something that I will keep so safely in my heart for her.
Mindy also wrote that the orphanage workers were very happy to see the photo album that I sent. Although Mr. Xiao was not very helpful or friendly to us when we were in China, I know that there were people who loved and cared for Julia. She could not have been so willing to love and be a part of our family is she had not known love and belonging in her younger life. I hope that all who loved her get to see it.
The orphanage workers were also happy that our families intent to keep in touch because the girls were such good friends. No question about that now!
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