Two years ago today Xiao Zhi Kuang became Julia ZhiKuang Buchko Schanker in the eyes of the People's Republic of China. We had known Julia for close to 24 hours, worried about her behavior, and fallen in love with the little girl whose picture we had stared at for five months.
Today, Julia and I had a lovely end of summer day. We watched Sesame Street over breakfast, finished cleaning up and sorting all of her little toys into new and/or different plastic boxes, then went to our community pool where we ate our packed lunch and swam for most of the afternoon. We came home before David arrived home from work, and Julia played with her toys. Once he was home we decided to go to a Dance. Yes, indeedy, there are Dane (County) Dances in August. This was the first one that we went to. It was on the roof at our Ovature Center, a concert venue that sits on one of the lakes. The view was great, the weather perfect. There were food venders for our supper and a great band with lots of people around for dancing. Julia wanted to dance close to the band, but close to the band was close to the speakers and that was too loud for her. We went to the back of the dance space and had a great time. I swung her around, had her doing circles under my arm, and jumped around with her. Julia insisted that she dance with me and with David and then insisted that David and I dance.
This wonderful child, full of challenges and full of surprises. This child who molds our days and who has changed our family in many way. This child is ours and we are hers. How glorious that is.
Other Julia happenings:
Julia was not particularly excited to visit her school yesterday, but she hugged Christy when she saw her and talked and talked to her. She went around the familiar classroom (Julia's teacher, Christy, is teaching a K-1 class this year and we are sooo pleased that Julia is in this class), touching, playing, saying hi to kids she knew and new kids. There is another adopted Chinese girl in her class. I've spoken with her father at the beginning of the summer. Julia went up to the little girl and welcomed her into the class. By the time it was ready to go into the playground for popcicles, Julia was having fun. This morning she asked me when I was going to let her go to school again. This is not wild enthusiam, but it is definite interest. Yahoo!
Julia and I played a short matching game today. I put out 8 cards at a time and when we got down to 2 cards I put out six more. Julia was able to turn over two at a time, remember where certain matches sometimes, and took pleasure in piling up her matching cards.
Our speech therapist, Carol, is retiring at the end of September. I am thrilled for her. She has been great with Julia and has compared notes with our OT therapist which has been wonderful. She will be so missed.
We visited a family therapist, Lance Woods, who has worked with adopted kids, kids who have experienced trauma, and kids on the spectrum. I am hoping to do attachment therapy with him and to understand more of Julia. We told him that our concerns were Julia's anger, especially towards me, and her inability really relax or nap. I am feeling like that second concern is about hypervilence. I don't know how feeling about this therapist. I did not immediately connect with him. He told us that kids with attachment issues never really recover and that we may never have the same relationship with Julia that we have with Cheshire. This may be the truth. I don't know. Possibility this is a reality that he feels he needs to tell new clients. To me, it is needlessly pessimistic. And I believe that our relationship with Julia is pretty good, not perfect, and we have work to do to make it truly and fully loving, but we have come so far.
On another front: I still have a laptop with a virus. I am giving up trying to do something about it myself and surrender it to the official geeks to be cleaned and serviced. I am not writing emails and not using any of my other programs. I hope to be up to speed again before long.
Today, Julia and I had a lovely end of summer day. We watched Sesame Street over breakfast, finished cleaning up and sorting all of her little toys into new and/or different plastic boxes, then went to our community pool where we ate our packed lunch and swam for most of the afternoon. We came home before David arrived home from work, and Julia played with her toys. Once he was home we decided to go to a Dance. Yes, indeedy, there are Dane (County) Dances in August. This was the first one that we went to. It was on the roof at our Ovature Center, a concert venue that sits on one of the lakes. The view was great, the weather perfect. There were food venders for our supper and a great band with lots of people around for dancing. Julia wanted to dance close to the band, but close to the band was close to the speakers and that was too loud for her. We went to the back of the dance space and had a great time. I swung her around, had her doing circles under my arm, and jumped around with her. Julia insisted that she dance with me and with David and then insisted that David and I dance.
This wonderful child, full of challenges and full of surprises. This child who molds our days and who has changed our family in many way. This child is ours and we are hers. How glorious that is.
Other Julia happenings:
Julia was not particularly excited to visit her school yesterday, but she hugged Christy when she saw her and talked and talked to her. She went around the familiar classroom (Julia's teacher, Christy, is teaching a K-1 class this year and we are sooo pleased that Julia is in this class), touching, playing, saying hi to kids she knew and new kids. There is another adopted Chinese girl in her class. I've spoken with her father at the beginning of the summer. Julia went up to the little girl and welcomed her into the class. By the time it was ready to go into the playground for popcicles, Julia was having fun. This morning she asked me when I was going to let her go to school again. This is not wild enthusiam, but it is definite interest. Yahoo!
Julia and I played a short matching game today. I put out 8 cards at a time and when we got down to 2 cards I put out six more. Julia was able to turn over two at a time, remember where certain matches sometimes, and took pleasure in piling up her matching cards.
Our speech therapist, Carol, is retiring at the end of September. I am thrilled for her. She has been great with Julia and has compared notes with our OT therapist which has been wonderful. She will be so missed.
We visited a family therapist, Lance Woods, who has worked with adopted kids, kids who have experienced trauma, and kids on the spectrum. I am hoping to do attachment therapy with him and to understand more of Julia. We told him that our concerns were Julia's anger, especially towards me, and her inability really relax or nap. I am feeling like that second concern is about hypervilence. I don't know how feeling about this therapist. I did not immediately connect with him. He told us that kids with attachment issues never really recover and that we may never have the same relationship with Julia that we have with Cheshire. This may be the truth. I don't know. Possibility this is a reality that he feels he needs to tell new clients. To me, it is needlessly pessimistic. And I believe that our relationship with Julia is pretty good, not perfect, and we have work to do to make it truly and fully loving, but we have come so far.
On another front: I still have a laptop with a virus. I am giving up trying to do something about it myself and surrender it to the official geeks to be cleaned and serviced. I am not writing emails and not using any of my other programs. I hope to be up to speed again before long.
2 comments:
That therapist sounds rather pessimistic to me too. I wonder what he meant. Besides, don't parents have unique relationships with each of their children anyway? You and David are at a different point in your lives with Julia than with Cheshire. And it sure sounds to me like you've come very far in the last 2 years. Only 2 years!
"To me, it is needlessly pessimistic."
I like the way you said that Suzanne. It seems to me that your gut will serve you well as you get to know him.
Thank you for spending those days with us. I'm going to blog about it very soon. I look forward to your virus being cleaned up and seeing your post about our reunion. I really loved being with everyone again.
Congratulations on two years with your dragon.
Traci
www.journeytojaden.typepad.com/watchingthemgrow
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