This is what I wrote to our circle of friends. I wanted to share it here as well.
It has been a very hard day, made easier by my dear friend, Lisa. Lisa is not only friend, godmother to Cheshire, and keeper of my secrets, she is also a UU minister who has all of the expertise that we need this week. We are working efficiently and with such love because she is here to guide us -- and also do tremendous amounts of the work! Lisa will be conducting the memorial service that I will tell you about. Cheshire, Julia and I have also been gifted by the presence and help of one of Cheshire's lifetime friends, Linde. We are talking and there is some life in the house. We need this so much right now. I am reading all of the messages and emails that are coming. Thank you all. The comfort and prayers and love and support helps.
These are our plans so far: David's body will be cremated at the end of this week. A memorial service celebrating his life will occur on Sunday, July 11, at 1:30 pm, at the First Unitarian Society of Madison, Wisconsin (900 University Bay Drive). You are all invited to come although I completely understand that this circle of care is far flung and travel will be impossible for some. If you cannot attend, please keep us in your thoughts, hold us in the light on Sunday. After the service, we will have a reception -- a meal that David specifically asked to share. It will be at the home of my friends, Suzanne and Mike Swift (1811 Jefferson Street, Madison). This is a beautiful house and an incredible gift to us because Suzanne and Mike have been experiencing some challenging times over the last few weeks.
I would love to invite you all to stay with us for the weekend; however, our home is small. Another wonderful friend is getting a list of local hotels together that I can send tomorrow. She will also be available to answer any question that out-of-towners may have. Of course, if anyone comes up to Madison for David's memorial and has some extra time to spend with us, we will be home and we would love to see you.
In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the Forward Theatre Company, P.O. Box 14574, Madison, WI, 53708, or through their website:www.forwardtheatre.com. The Forward Theater Company did a staged reading of David's most recent creative endeavor was Kiritsis, a play in the spring which David, just home a week was able to attend. It was our first foray into the Madison theater scene and David enjoyed it completely.
8 comments:
My deepest sympathies, Suzanne. I came to know David through your blog and I've no doubt that you will all miss him terribly. He was truly a Transplant Warrior - Randy Small, Heart-Beats
Suzanne, you, David, Julia, have been on my mind constantly and we've never even met. I am amazed at your strength. I imagine you don't feel strong right now, but rather numb, and being carried forward by others, but the fact that you can write and blog is a testament to your strength and spirit. I simply can't even fathom what you are experiencing, but I'm proud of you. I hope you find comfort from those around you and from David's love and devotion.
When I got Eliza's autism diagnosis, I asked why for about 1 second, and then the self-pitty resolved and I felt strength from the knowing that this was a gift and was going to awaken a part of myself that I hadn't met yet. When my father passed away, shortly thereafter, taken from us years ago by alzheimers (non verbal, unable to feed himself, etc), I felt that he was "whole" finally and living again in Heaven. I also felt that he was understanding Eliza and helping me to. Don't know if that makes any sense. Like I said, you've been on mind so much. I wish I lived closer to help you, as a fellow MIA. Continue to be strong and brave; and scared and weak when you need to as well. Sending you hugs and support. Sarah in NC
Dear Suzanne,
I will be thinking of you, Cheshire and Julia on Sunday at David's memorial service. I can't believe he is gone to the next plane but he tried so hard to stay and be there for all his girls.
I really still hope that one day we will meet again. All my love to you all,
Marianne
Suzanne, you don't know me but I have read your blog once in a while since you adopted Julia. I am so sorry for your loss. Even though I know you don't feel it today, you are a very strong woman. I will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Just keep remembering to take it one day at a time.
Christie
Suzanne,
praying that the Lord will be to you, all that you need at this time...Catherine
Suzanne,
you don't know me, I'm another Chinamom, lurker and occassional poster. I have followed your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I do know your pain, but that never eases or lessens what you have to go through. We each have to travel our own path. Sometimes the pain will be more, sometimes less - grief is like a wave. Sometimes you will feel guilty that you have forgotten for a minute, and you will forget things you thought were etched forever. Your life will change in ways you can see and in ways that will astonish you.
It seems impossible to die
on a day when the sun shouted "LIFE."
If I go back, you will be there...
But the air is empty,
it is the earth you occupy now.
I did not get enough goodbye
but I will grieve you well.
(written for my aunt and cousins)
Suzanne, you don't know me but I have followed your story with Julia. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of David. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Allison
Suzanne, You don't know me but I am another China adoptive mom and I have followed your blog on and off for a while now. I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing person.
Allison
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