A visitor and Julia's ruminates on death

Our last day on the Isle of Wight (check out: http://www.iwight.com/just_visiting/isle_of_white.asp) has been beautiful. Finally, a beach day after a few cold and wet days. It did rain but we were taking a bath before supper and missed it entirely.

Julia and I walked today about 4 hours all together, playing on the beach part of the time, running and daring the waves. We said hello to a few people we have seen on our walks. This is a small island and Julia and I are conspicuous. I have not seen another Asian face here, and no Americans at all.

We stopped in Shanklin for lunch and I finally had a very good scone and delightful clotted cream -- thank god, I don’t live here. I might be tempted to have this treat every so often. I don’t even think four hours on the beach would make up for that treat.

Still, it was good.

I have at times been skipping Julia’s stimulant and she is eating. I am continually happy when she eats, my skinny dinosaur.

So, today we had a visitor. Alice’s father, Anthony, comes from the Isle of Wight and it was because of his stories that I knew about it. He has a brother, Noel, who still lives on the Isle and works in a hotel not far from where I was staying. He is an older man, shy and of this place. He met me after breakfast and we talked for a few hours. I did n’t really think I would be able to when I met him at the wedding, but alone he was much more personable and generous. He walked with us down to the beach before he had to catch a bus. we exchanged addressed and I am sure he will write. He is lonely, and he is losing old friends as they get old. He bought candy for Julia for the plane ride and we hugged before he left. I felt that I had met a very sweet soul.

And Julia is thinking about death. It was unfortunate that Osborne House was built and lived in by a dead queen and a dead prince, and by children who have grown and died. There was no way to avoid those facts and it started Julia talking about death again. She had stopped for a few days -- really since we came to the isle.

Some observations of her: She asked about my mother (Babja to Julia) and I confirmed the fact that she died last year. She then asked if Daddy would be seeing Babja now. This from a child who has not really heard about life after death. What has she picked up and did she really make these connections?

She wanted to know if Daddy would be seeing dinosaurs. She asked if Daddy could decide to come back home when we got home. And then, she wanted to know what it feels like to be dead. She says she is still missing Daddy and hopes he decides to come back. She would like that. And then she says that she will use her magic wand to bring him back.

What else in in that head? And am I answering her with comfort and sense?

And then, she is looking for a new husband for me. She has not forgotten this quest. She asked if I wanted to get married. If I wanted to be a bride again? And could a mommy also be a bride. I told her that right now I was sad and didn’t think I was ready for a new husband. And she asked when. Then, I told her that I had not met many men in my whole life who I would marry and I thought it would be very hard to find me a new husband. And she turned to me, patted my hand and said, “Mommy, I find you a China man who looks just like me.”

And I have just no idea where to go with that.