Oh, I have been quiet. Inside and out. Still there. My work at home remains sorting pictures. It is sad work because I see in the pictures aspects of people that I never knew about, never asked about, never considered. And so many of them are gone from this plane. The one exception is a favorite aunt and uncle, David’s family, and although I’ve not spent great swaths of time with them, our visits have alway been meaty and deep. I look at their young pictures and I see the older and old people that they became. But, the young pictures of my mother and father are not like that at all. I wonder what happened to the joyful faces that must have looked at me with so much love when I toddled around the house. My own face, which in expression if not in likeness, remind me so much of Cheshire’s wild joy as a little kid, glows back at mommy and daddy. When exactly did that change? And why? I remember being a rather moody 8 year old, a kid who was pretty selfish and didn’t like celebrating anyone else’s birthday.
The stack that saddens me the most is that of David’s mother. I can write pages about my own parents and grandparents, I can write a good bit about David’s father and a little bit about his paternal grandmother, but how little I can write about his mother. I know the stories that David told me, but second hand those stories don’t have color, they lack dimension. Cheshire’s first name, Inez, was for David’s mother. Everyone who knew both Cheshire and the original Inez said at one time or another how much Inez would have enjoyed Cheshire. Maybe it is only that that is so very clear -- a woman who would have loved a stubborn, bright, wild child whose life path was a grassy bike path.
When Julia’s intensive autism therapy supported by the state waiver program ends in June, I will be able to apply for post-intensive funding. There are pretty strict rules as to how I can use these funds but it looks like I might be able to use some funds for an i-pad and appropriately related apps. If anyone knows of apps that have been shown to be useful for kids on the spectrum or kids who need extra support in school, please let me know. Almost anything educational works and apps that teach independence or social skills are what I am looking for. Subjects I can think of are telling time, counting money, using a phone, conversation, reading comprehension. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could buy an ipad, so finding out about this opportunity is perfect for the summer, but now I have to put together a budget.
I thought that Julia’s behavior was evening out throughout the week, but today at therapy she did not start out well. While she was playing with another kid, she turned around, stuck her butt out, and tried to fart on him. The kid thought it was funny which didn’t help matters, and Ellen had to pick her up and carry her out of the room. Where? Where? Where did she get that? “I won’t do it again, Mommy,” she promised. Yeah, but what will she try tomorrow?
She argued with Ellen after Ellen took her out of the room and she got angry enough to bite her. Not hard, and not for long, but she bit. This used to be a frequent occurrence but she has not even fooled around pretending to bite for a long time.
At the same time, she finally broke through her reading level of 18. She can decode at a much higher level, but her comprehension is what is holding her back. Last week, she passed 18 and she was very close to passing 20. 22 would put her on a third grade reading level but I don’t know if she’ll hit it before school is out. She is writing independently. Her writing is very simple and sometimes in a rush to write what she wants, she will skip words. She is so happy to be writing words and sentences.