We seem to have taken a step back in time yesterday. Julia and I have been having a pretty good time doing our home work. Julia is usually pretty cooperative and I have been congratulating myself on how well we work together. Too much self-congratulations has obviously attracted the ire of the gods and they have ordered a self-correction.
One of the things I have been doing with Julia is to put letters in alphabetical order. Even though Julia knows her alphabet, and knows the sounds of the letters, and sings the ABC song, putting the letters in order is a struggle for her. So we started with 3 letters and have been working our way up. We were at 10 letters yesterday and I asked Julia to get started on putting them in order when were were in the kitchen baking. I thought that we could do some work in a room we didn't usually work in and at a different time.
Julia was not in the mood to put letters in order. I tried to get her to sing the ABC song so that it would be easy to put the letters in order. I didn't mean the exercise to last very long but Julia refused to put letters in order or to sing. I pressed and sometimes it works to get her to do some work. Not yesterday. She dug her heels in and absolutely refused to do what I asked. She hasn't done something like this in such a long time that I did not recognize the behavior. I escalated the argument because that was what it had become by this time -- I was frustrated and just wanted her to do what I asked her to do. I told her that either she sing or she could go upstairs to bed.
And she chose bed.
She went upstairs and changed into pjs and went to bed. I went up and tried to convince her to sing and come downstairs again. David came home and convinced Julia to come downstairs but when I asked her to sing or put her letters in order, she returned upstairs. Julia was kinda miserable but so stubborn. David finally decided that we should just bring her downstairs to eat dinner, and I decided to forget about our tasks.
Julia came down stairs. She was both repentant and victorious. I saw it as a step backwards, not that I want to break her fierce will but that I had lost her trust. She needed to win and that makes me sad. That she was repentant was a good thing. She snuggled with me, she gave me tastes of her food, she gave me extra attention and kisses. It is good that she wanted me to feel better.
Today, we did some home work. It was shorter than usual and I did not push her like I usually do. I did not want to go to where were got to yesterday.
1 comment:
I wish I could figure out what triggers those "step back" days in our world, too. I'm at a loss. In our daughter's case, it always involves a power struggle with me. Rarely with my husband. It's frustrating.
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