05 December 2011

Framing some Julia art this weekend. Hanging pictures this weekend and today. Pictures and knick-knacks are scattered all over. Every where. Making for hazardous walking. Almost impossible for Julia. Must hang today and start clearing debris away!

Started a meditation regimen using Deepak Chopra’s “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence”. Twice daily meditation plus some exercises. I have long been interested in coincidences and Chopra, although at times more ego driven that I am comfortable with, has a lovely voice and interesting ideas.

Julia and I had a very good weekend together. We were busy -- helping to set up for the school “dance” on Saturday, running to church and then back to the dance in the evening. Julia enjoyed watching the popcorn machine and the ladies sewing our school’s signature hats probably more than the loud music and darkly lit gym. Yesterday, we went to a cheesy, commercial, too expensive dinosaur exhibit which Julia loved. She is ever amazing in the dinos she can spot, she engaged a dinosaur sculptor in conversation (a bit stilled but a conversation nonetheless), bought a small souvenir with her own money, and I realized that she can recognize and name the continents at least when a dinosaur lived there. It was so lovely to have a good time with her. I hold me breath hoping it will continue.

And lastly, at my last session with Ellen, I asked my spirit guides what I had to do to give me more strength and purpose and resiliency. And they laughed at me! They said that it was all there, only waiting for me to move out and do what I wanted to do. I have been mulling this answer over for a week. At first in a whiny way -- "I am not strong at all." -- and then, I became pretty silly -- "Time to climb the mountain, sing the aria, and take that foster parenting class" -- and now, a bit sober. Watching Julia's body heal, after her self inflicted torment, I have been instructed in healing. Slow. A few steps backwards all the time. Patience building. And small celebrations when the skin closes and only a bruise is left to mend. It maybe that my soul is in the bruising phase.

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