The leaves! The leaves this morning! There are golden leaves this morning that were only hinted at yesterday. There will be a few days, coming tomorrow and very soon, when those leaves are so golden that even on a cloudy day they will light their world. I remember writing a long time ago, in Indiana, about those golden leafed trees. I had not remembered them from Jersey and never saw them in NYC, but in the midwest they are a treat for my eyes. And although they herald the coming cold and winter and end of summer’s comforts, they are so beautiful that for moments I forget their prophecy and bask in their splendor.
I woke up last night with my bed wet from sweat and my mind full of thoughts that would not let go. This was not the hot flashes of menopause which always woke me at the beginning of the coming warmth and coursed through me body from deep inside out. Those flashes shook me awake and I could not feign inattention. This was not those. Last night, I woke up in the midst, perhaps as an afterward. And I was not immediately awake but slowly came to myself and only later could I not get back to sleep. During my period of tossing, I thought of walking through doors again, walking out of comfort and into the challenge. I got up, made myself some hot milk, answered some email and read. This morning I am tired and slightly perplexed, but ready to walk into the new room.