We spent afternoons at the Knights of Columbus pool that my parents joined years ago. The pool is not well used now and so the kids who use it have unlimited space in the pool. This is different from our community pool in Madison in that the shallowest water is 3 feet, and so, the water was much colder than Julia and I are used to. This was not much of a problem for Julia but she did come out a number of times with almost blue lips and enjoyed the warm towel and snuggle to get warm. Julia found kids to play with each time that we went. She especially enjoyed playing with a little girl who was just 4. Julia and this little girl jumped into the pool holding hands, and Julia jumped by herself at least once. The two of them splashed and played and "attacked" two older boys who entered into a substantial splashing war. This physical play without the demand of mature vocal communication was just pleasure for Julia. She was loud but no louder than the other kids and kinda rough for a girl, but those were tough boys. Julia also met two of my mother’s friends an by the end of the first day, she was calling them "grandma" and giving out hugs and kisses when we left. I wondered whether Julia calling these ladies "grandma" was somewhat a sign of respect. She may have done something like this with older people who she saw in China.
David was driving Cheshire to school during this week and he stopped at both his parents and mine to allow the grandparents to see our world traveler before she returned to school. After he helped her set up her dorm room, he stopped again in Jersey. As it turned out we had a very nice dinner with all the grandparents and the three of us on Julia’s adoption day. It was low key but very nice to be together. And Julia discovered shrimp.
It is amazing to think that we have been together for a year. Julia really has burrowed deep into our hearts and her attachment to us is still such a source of wonder to me. After spending a little time with Miao Miao, I see how much Julia is behind developmentally. I don’t know the reason, but from what I can put together from what I know of Julia and what I’ve now heard of Miao Miao, I am coming to see that Julia was not treated well at the orphanage. She was probably not a favorite, not sent to school when her friend much younger than she was sent, the food was not plentiful although Julia came home a fine size, and the stimulation was lacking. Julia and Miao Miao played with sticks drawing in the dirt, and neither girl knew what crayons were in China. The pictures that Miao Miao brought home included shots of her with various caregivers, shots of her at school doing various activities with other children, at least one shot outside the orphanage, and shots in more than one set of clothes suggesting that the pictures were taken on more than one day. Apart from the one picture of Julia with Miao Miao and the boy, Na Na, Julia pictures were of her alone and either inside the orphanage or on the play equipment. I wonder now if Julia’s caregivers saw a reason not to treat her as they treated her best friend.
I am very angry and bitter about Julia’s treatment at the orphanage. I do not believe that Miao Miao was treated very well at the orphanage. Why was my darling child not treated as well as her best friend? And there is no one to ask these questions of.
Julia nudges me to put my arm around her for the scary part of a movie.
On Friday, we drove down to Point Pleasant, a beach community on the Jersey shore. It was grey and damp day and so not a real beach day and my mom didn’t want to go into the sand. We walked the board walk – for Julia this was a first although she did not think the board walk was anything special – and I bought many, many ticket for Julia to go on rides. Each time we try the kiddie rides, Julia’s behavior improves, and although we had a short time when she did not want to do what I wanted her to, she was mostly willing to follow my directions. And she did go on lots of rides. She is beginning to look like she is enjoying rides. When we have taken her on other rides, she has looked very serious. She observes very carefully, she steers the wheel in front of her, she watches others, but she rarely laughs or waves to her crazy parents who call out to her and wave like silly people as she passes us each time. This time she noticed us and seemed to be happy waving.
Julia loves little roller coasters and has been on a few. This time the coaster was a little bigger. It was still very must a junior thrill but it went up and down and in two circles before returning to the platform. I decided to go on with her because I thought it might scare her some. Well, she loved it. She told me later and even today that she was scared during the ride but she screamed and held up her hands and laughed.
Julia got to know her Babja this week. Julia was really ready for this and being together for a day at the shore was a great cap to the week together.
I was working on my own Kohr's chocolate cone -- a Jersey shore favorite -- and Julia needed some ice cream guidance. Thank goodness for grandmas!We are on the way back home to Madison. Julia has been good in the airport coming and going. She is more patient waiting on lines, more patient when we put on her VCR and let her watch a movie, more patient if we need to change gatesWe are on the way back home to Madison. Julia has been good in the airport coming and going. She is more patient waiting on lines, more patient when we put on her VCR and let her watch a movie, more patient if we need to change gates
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