Flute music on morning music and I wonder about all that breath, all that control.
Control, discipline, practice, patience, patience, patience.
I received an email this morning asking me to join the board of a group that I am very interested in, a group dedicating to inclusive education for kids with disabilities. I've spoken to two people on the board last year and expressed my interest and told them of my activities, and this is the next logical step. But this year?
My first impulse was to immediately say yes and ask if there was childcare at the meeting or if I could bring Julia and sit her in a corner with her crayons but oh my goodness, this is exactly what I said I would not do this year. There is an interesting PTO committee to chair, but I said no. A friend asked if I wanted to help with her committee and I . . . well, I did not reply to her email. Have to do that. I thought about it and was swaying but I need to say no. There is also ARC of Dane County that I am really interested in working with again, but cannot right now.
None of these groups will be gone next year. I know that. I also am pretty sure that if I beg off for this year that I will be invited or can express my interest again next year. But, and this is the big but, somewhere I am sacred that this is my only chance with them. Ego? Where do I get that? And why? These are volunteer groups that are always looking for help. Some of them are very attractive to me and I’d like to work with them, but really, if they turned me down next year, I could find other things to do.
It is not easy saying no. Not for me, anyway. And the temptation to say, yes, and get busy is a tantalizing, ripe fruit hanging by a thread from a very low branch. Fallow is not natural for me.
I just hung up the phone with the Remediators of my mother’s house. The "No further action" letter from the state will be issued and sent this week. This closes our state action regarding the leaky oil tank and contaminated water and soil. There is now restoration work to be done on the front steps and walk, as well as the driveway and the lawn and foundation plantings. However, I am a step closer to being able to sell the house, to close the estate, and to get on with the rest of my life without thinking about that house all the time. Yahoo.
There has been some water damage in the basement which needs repair before it goes on the market. The hurricane did not seem to effect the house which is great news. The water that caused damage was from some time earlier this year. It is unfortunate that it was not caught and really remedied earlier but this is one of the pitfalls of an empty house.
My wonderful realtor, Lori, is ready to re-list the property and after restoration, repairs, and a good cleaning, we should be good to go in a few weeks. We do need a statue of St. Joseph buried in the front yard! Although prices on houses in Jersey continue to fall -- David's father's house is being sold and the asking price is far below what it would have brought even last year -- I am holding on to hope that we can have this wrapped up by the end of the year.
And just a note about the neighbors from hell. They are still giving the remediators and our insurance company a very hard time. They have been through multiple lawyers and engineers, trying to prove something is wrong. Thankfully, the remediators and our insurance company has separated my claim and concerns. This is an incredible blessing and boon to me. It's interesting that that house has always had inhabitants who were just not good neighbors. Very unfortunate.
On another note, last week I called Julia’s dentist to make an appointment for her checkup. Prior to this appointment, I’ve always been able to make her next appointment at the time of the immediate appointment. I was told that I could not do it this time and when I asked why, I was given some vague answer about them moving their office. I was willing to take that, but when I was on the phone with them making Julia’s appointment which will not be until next month, putting her at 7.5 months since a visit instead of 6 months, I asked again and given some sputtering and shifty words. I asked directly whether Julia having medicaid instead of private insurance made the difference. The receptionist/person I talked to immediately launched into an explanation that they were one of the few practices that took government insurance and that I was lucky to have been accepted as a patient there. But my question was sill not answered. So, I asked again, “You are not answering my question. Am I being treated different with regard to appointments because my daughter in on Medicaid?” Yes, she said.
I am not asking to cause trouble or to file a lawsuit, but if we wonder why people who need government assistance are resentful, rude, or have an “attitude”, I wonder if we should just start here. In a place like my dentist’s office. Or at the local social security office. Nothing like needing help, and having your nose rubbed in it.