12 January 2012

When we woke up this morning, I immediately checked the street and they were still dry, but by bus time, there was a thin coat of snow everywhere and an hour later the roads are covering nicely. We are seriously into winter. Yesterday was incredibly warm -- heavy sweater weather and people were worrying about bulb plants coming up but today winter has a hold of us with a vengeance.

Of course, I did not put Julia is snow boots this morning. She didn’t need them when she left for school. She will by the end of the school day.

I spent a chunk of yesterday formatting and then reading the blog for September 2011, starting work on the writing project. Cold, sweat time. I have no idea what I am doing. No idea of how to start. How many times have I felt like this? Every time a new project begins! I can remember having similar feelings when pulling a new case at work. Reading a social security denial, wondering not exactly where to begin but what the end should be. trying to push through to the meat as quickly as possible. I don’t need to be as quickly as possible now but I strain to see some vision

Using the excellent pretense that I needed to find some paperwork for Cheshire to give her dates in order to fill out forms, I started bringing storage boxes upstairs to the dining room. The sorting needs to begin again if I am going to finish it by the end of the school year. And yet, I have not plunged full speed ahead because I’ve found plenty to do and because I love the sleek emptiness of the house put away. Kitchen stuff in the kitchen, a rather bare dining room that is easy to walk through and use, and a cozy but orderly living room. And the basement once again looks like there are too many boxes ever to wrangle. But. But. But. I hauled plastic storage boxes with appropriate labels upstairs and found the paperwork that Cheshire needed. Not to being more sorting. Trying for an objective look at the basement, it is less filled with junk! But there is still way too much to be happy with and way too much that is unorganized and unusable.

On Monday, I delivered two less than full boxes of film books to the second hand book store. They paid me $15 for some very interesting film books that I will never use and that I could not give away to my young film-studying friends. The woman who estimated and gave me the receipt commented that I have many interesting books in those boxes. I said, “yes.” I just didn’t want to engage in the conversation of dead-husband-film-student-and-teacher. It was not that I was too sad to do so, I have been talking about David very casually recently, but right then I did not want to spread the sorrow. Why tell a perfect stranger who looked liked she was having a very nice day that these books belonged to my dead best friend who adored film? I could not.

The snow continues. Fine. Steady. I have to drive boots over to school for Julia. I may have forgotten boots but I did prepare by filling the snow blower up with the gas/oil mix that it needs and making sure it started. Thank goodness for electric starters! And the car was in the garage last night, although any driving and parking today will necessitate cleaning off the car. Umm. I better do the quick grocery store stop for milk and a new bag of rice as well. Just in case. This is Wisconsin.

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