14 August 2012

Yesterday, first day back after vacation felt like utter chaos.  Too many chores and tasks on the list to get done.  All seeming to need immediate attention although most had no emergency status at all.  Just my own need for post-vacation order.  The list of household fixes that I left Ed with remain in medias res -- I just hated a few of the new lights that I had picked out and bought.  And just noticing too many things undone -- the garden, the list of fallow year chores to complete asap before the fall begins.  Generally grumpy and dissatisfied.  Allowing myself to be disappointed that my gardens are overgrown and ugly and that I’ve enjoyed little time in them.  The inside of the house has a tasks in every corner.  Waiting.  Just waiting.  

But made a list and checked off a few tasks during the day.  Spent some time writing email to a few people long due to be written to.  Organized Julia’s work for the week and just let the dust settle.  

We are home.   Looking forward to a day of tasks and maybe a swim if it is warm enough in the afternoon.  That patience in the small and the single step is a soft blanket thrown over the shoulders of dissatisfaction.  New morning eyes that know that everything that needs to be done must be done or delegated by me and that I certainly have limitations of time, interest, and abilities.  Then again, there is my need to waste a bit of time.

Just a Tuesday morning.

Julia continues to work at reading Harry Potter.  Asking her questions last night as we read.  She remembers many more facts.  Inference is still very hard but she seems to follow the logic of inference more consistently.  Addition is coming along.  I am hoping that our work on math facts will lead to next steps of double digit addition and subtraction and understand multiplication during the school year.  I type the last thought and erase it and type it again.  I know that I am expecting a lot.  Maybe the impossible.  But I do and I will continue to.  My job is not to be satisfied and complacent.  At least, I do not judge it to be.  At least, not yet.  

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