Old Friends

On August 30, 2007, Julia was able to see her friend, Xiao Zhi Lan, aka Miao Miao, for the first time since Julia left China a year ago. (I am not going to use Miao Miao’s American name, because I haven’t checked with her mom about that.).

Miao Miao was on the same Waiting Child list at FTIA, our adoption agency, that Julia was on – the March 2006 list. We had committed to Julia, Xiao Zhi Kuang, by the time the list was put on line. When I saw ZhiLan on the list, I had to know whether our ZhiKuang knew her. As I remember, at least one of the girls’ reports mentioned that they were friends. Immediately I wanted to help this child find her home. She seemed to linger on that list for a long time. I advocated for her on a few yahoo lists for waiting children and waited. I think it was just before we left for China, when Miao Miao’s family claimed her, and we were very happy.

Miao Miao’s mom and I have been in touch since before they went to China to adopt her last spring. We sent a doll with a picture of Miao Miao and Julia together to Miao Miao’s family, and they gave that to Miao Miao in China. We followed their journey online and Julia thrilled to see pictures of her friend, and thrilled to see her friend find her family. From what they reported, Miao Miao was also very happy to have heard from her friend Bai Bai.

That was back in the Spring. Miao Miao’s mom and I planned to get the girl together via Skype (an internet service that allows for video phone calls on the computer), but our lives got in the way. We were moving; they were vacationing away from home and computer. Just last week, Miao Miao’s mom emailed to see if we could do a Skype call and I replied that I was traveling to Jersey and we’d need to wait a week. She wrote back and asked if we could meet in Jersey and the plan was on.

On Thursday, we decided to meet midway between where my mother lives and where Miao Miao’s family lives in Hightstown, New Jersey. We decided on the playground of a grammar school and Julia and I set out a little past 9 in the morning. Julia and I arrived at the playground first. Julia was not sure that she wanted to see her Miao Miao, and she said so in the car a number of times as we were driving. She wasn’t sure she wanted to get out of the car when we arrived.

I spotted a van pull into the school parking lot and saw Miao Miao and her mom get out. I told Julia to look that way and Julia turned and moved towards them. When they got close enough to identify, Julia turned her back and ran, Miao Miao clutched her mom. We moms had to coax the girls together, and just as I was ready to worry that the meeting was not going to work, the girls ran off to play together. They were chasing each other, climbing bars, writing in the dust, and investigating everything.

They are the same height and Miao Miao acts more mature than Julia does. It is hard to believe that Julia is 6.5 and Miao Miao is just turning 5. Both Miao Miao’s mom and I have doubts about their ages, but there are no doubts why they are friends -- both girls have big voices and use them, both are stubborn as the day is long, both are sweet and affectionate, both have unlimited energy. Miao Miao took some time to cuddle up to me and Julia did the same with Miao Miao’s mom -- as if they were very thankful, as if we must be relatives that just haven't met yet.

I saw Miao Miao stand her ground as her mom told her not to go to their van. Miao Miao even shook her head just like Julia does when she is feeling stubborn. Julia yelled at Miao Miao to come and come she did. The girls were very physical with eachother – standing or squatting very close together, touching hands or arms or faces, they bent their heads together and we have no idea what they were saying. Julia has more English and I have no idea if she knows any Chinese anymore. that Miao Miao’s mom brought, made faces as they ate sour grapes and shared crackers.
From what her mom said, Miao Miao doesn’t let anyone call her that but she took no offense when Julia did it. Both girls used their Chinese names interchangeably. They fell into what must be their old relationship so quickly and passed the three hours that we were together with ease. They ate the snacks that Miao Miao’s mom brought, made faces as they ate sour grapes and shared crackers.

Their parting was sweet and sad. They hugged and held eachother's faces close. They parted and hugged again – this time Julia lifted Miao Miao off her feet and the girls laughed. Julia wanted to watch Abby get in the van and drive off and we waved until we couldn't see them. As they turned the corner, we heard a very loud, "Bai Bai" and Julia shouted "Miao Miao" back.
On the ride back to my mom's house, Julia was first angry that we left Miao Miao and I wondered if this ride was just a little bit like the ride from the orphange to Nanchang to meet us (I think that leaving Miao Miao that time must have been very hard for both girls). After awhile, she stopped being angry and told me that she loved me. Then, she asked about where Abby Miao Miao was. She asked many times last night and first thing this morning. She can now answer her own questions, that Miao Miao is home with her mommy, daddy, and 3 Jei Jei. And I might be reading much to much into this but Julia looks happier today, less stressed, and as if part of her world was righted.