10 October 2007

Lot of stuff from last weekend.

This was our first weekend home in a few weeks and it flew by much too fast. On Saturday, we met an email buddy of mine with three of her four Chinese daughters. They are all older than Julia but Julia had a great time. We met at Monona Dream Park for a breakfast picnic. Julia wolfed down the bagel and cream cheese, more cream cheese than bagel, reminding me that although David and I are on perpetual diets, Julia is not and could use a bagel now and again.

The kids climbed and swung and slid while Cathy and I talked. It was good talking to someone who knows something about adopted kids – face to face for a good long time. Maybe I should be using our social worker for some of this but my questions are far ranging and specific and nothing that can’t be dealt with alone. It is just nice to have some comfort, support and a sounding board.

Adoption, especially of an older child, is an unchartered wilderness, and so many times I feel like I am here without a map.

Julia and I came home to find David busy with household chores. The dog is finally really closed into the fenced back yard. Who knew that our neighbor’s fence had so many lose pickets for Latkah to push aside. She has found freedom a number of times last week and even ran out the door and was missing for a few hours on Sunday. Now that she is off the lead, she just wants more freedom.

Anyway, we worked around the house for awhile, and then went to an IMAX film about prehistoric monsters under the sea, or Sea Dinosaurs. It was big and scary but Julia loved it until the dinosaurs and background got just much too noisy. We left after about 35 minute, missing the last 5 minutes. Julia was very firm with "I have enough. Time to go." We let her decide and left. If we could have turned down the sound, I am sure she would have watched the whole thing.

She came out of the theater very happy, so we thought we would push our luck. We wanted to buy a few more puzzles and Toys-r-us was open. We don’t go to stores like this very often, but I have done it twice buying things for her or gifts for other kids. Julia was willing to sit in the cart and be wheeled around, but once David let her hold a bit electronic dinosaur, she was not willing to let it go. I never let her do that. When she’s wanted something that I was not willing to buy her before, I tell her there and then. She will fuss some but we get through.

Anyway, we found out, the very hard way, that letting her hold something that eventually will not go home with us is a recipe for disaster. Julia was really angry and stayed angry for the ride home. It was a tantrum of sorts, more controlled and much more directed anger. And in the car.
Sunday was another half good/half bad day. Julia had a good horse back riding lesson. She held the reigns for the first time and her balance was very good. She is still amazed at the big animals and is kind to them. She brushes the horse she is riding before and after her ride and talked to the animal. Ranger, who she rode on Sunday, peed and pooped during our lesson. And we heard about it all day! Ah, bathroom humor.

We had another tantrum in the car on our way to a pumpkin patch. I am trying to stop when she does this and try talking to her.

The pumpkin patch was fun and Julia enjoyed riding on a far cart, picking a few pumpkins, and playing in a corn crib full of corn. She made corn angels and really like the feel of corn between her toes.

I came in to get Julia from school on Monday and was thrilled to find her sitting at a table with Christy and another child, looking at a Dr. Suess book. She was quietly looking at pictures, very comfortable with where she was and what she was doing. I got her early to take her to an appointment with our family therapist. Our intention is to work on Julia’s anger, and any thing else that the doctor thinks necessary. In the car, Julia told me about eating pizza at school for lunch – a rare treat for her to eat the hot meal supplied by the school because she really doesn’t like most of what they serve. Then, she had a small tantrum. She was angry at me, yelling and screaming and kicking. It didn’t last for long, and this seems to be a pattern – anger in the car – anger in places in which I cannot effectively react to her with anything other than my voice.

Good time to be at therapy.

Julia made the jump from 25 piece puzzles to 100 piece puzzles yesterday. We found her a few new 25 piece ones and couldn’t find anything between 25 and 100. So, we went for the 100, in a Beauty and Beast motif. She wanted to do it on Saturday but we were too tired to concentrate, so we worked on it on Sunday evening. At first, Julia was confused, maybe overwhelmed is better, by all the small pieces, but we started the patter that she uses when she works on smaller puzzles (look for Belle’s eyes, here is her dress, look there is the Beast’s nose, etc.) and she fell into working on it. We worked for about a half hour and then left the unfinished puzzle on the table. This morning during breakfast, Julia wanted to work on the puzzle more. I think she listened to me tell her about looking for clues and hints in pieces, like a little bit of Belle’s slip or half of Chip the cup. I see lots of winter evenings with hot cocoa and puzzles!

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