24 February 2009

two slim thoughts

Two thoughts this morning:

The social skills group could be understood as being born out of necessity but what of my affinity? I don't know if I will be good at the running of it but even now I care deeply about each child who is involved. I prepare my visual instructions wondering what will be the most useful to one specific child or another. I find myself wanting to make specific instructions based on the little I know of each one. The possibility of nudging them to improve their social skills is more exciting than I am capable of describing. In some ways I am re-inventing the wheel but I have to put in time learning as well, so some re-invention is necessary. I want to understand more than my unguided reading has taught me, but I need to wait and see how the practical challenges of running this group pan out.

Clarity this year, yes, clarity.

And in a similar vien, I am beginning very slowly to let go of the firm belief that Julia will catch up with her peers and become some version of neuro-typical. I am getting ready to understand her as having a developmental path different from other kids. Cheshire was hardly a NT either, just in another way. Again, good training for my spicy dragon. But adapting to Cheshire's "challenges" was a point of pride. Easy on the ego. And Julia needs flexible parents so much more than Cheshire, although I wonder what inflexibility would have done to Cheshire.

Not better or worse, but different. Different can be so challenging to embrace.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The opportunity to parent two different children in two completely different ways with two completely different set of needs, from one end of the spectrum to the other. Undoubtedly an opportunity for you and David to grow and learn so very much. Not only about yourselves, but about life. I learn from you every time I read.

How is therapy going? Have you had another session?

Also, way off topic, what do you think of Niaga Falls in August for a reunion? Batting around ideas. I need to get some reservations made somewhere!

ChinaCalling said...

I agree with previous comment. Our children are our teachers. if they were all the same, we would only need one. The trouble is they come to teach us lessons we might not have chosen to learn! I'd be interested to hear more about Cheshire and how you think your flexibility/inflexibility might have affected her. sherri