Three quick thoughts before I get something done today -- that is the time between 8 and 1 when I pick Julia up from school.
First, we had dinner guests over last night and there were two kids that Julia could play with. They were rather a captive audience and Julia was loud and very bossy at times, but she has met these kids before and she enjoyed them so much. It was a warm evening so we had some wine and appetizers outside on our deck. I brought out bubbles and chalk for the kids and they had a great time. Just before we all came in, the three of them went into the backyard and played with Latkah and stomped around in our remaining mud puddle. Bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and mud -- what could be better.
I think she was the best she ever has been with other kids. When she is finally able to be a good friend, I think she will be the best. Julia has such a good and big heart. When we were going to bed last night, Julia asked if Cynthia and Sergei were going to bed as well. When I told her that I thought so, she wished them a good night.
Next, Amy, Julia's favorite aide in school, left at the end of last week for another position. This is the first time Julia has lost an important school person in Madison. It was well planned and executed and included pictures, a class gift, and a little party with cupcakes that I made on Thursday (so now I do feel like I should buy that red jumper). Julia is taking it well, although I saw it was harder for her to get in line and follow directions. I expect that she will have a hard time for a few days.
One thought that I have is that Julia learns about almost everything when she has a relationship with the person teaching. She is not a child who really learns from rote repetition alone, and her wanting the knowledge -- be it the sounds of all of the letters or standing in line to go into class -- has a lot to do with wanting to please and feeling comfortable with the person who is teaching. If this is so, my constant involvement with school is such a blessing. My late found patience is an incredible gift.
Finally, on Marilyn's instructions, we have become much more strict with Julia. We spent a few days noticing how often we have to call to her to have her do what we ask. We are now getting as close to one call, or two with the second with eye contact. We ask her to do what we ask once, if she ignores us, she sits on the step in a mini-time out. This is not easy for Julia but she is doing pretty well. We have more trouble remembering the drill every time than she has doing it. And she shows a bit of rebellion but overall, I think she is please with herself when she does as she is asked. And there are many less toys on the floor.
This is so different from the way we raised Cheshire. We gave her reasons when she asked or balked. We talked it out and I believed this gave her a strong sense of herself. I understand that Julia needs something else, she needs to fully depend on us, without reason or explanation -- Momma is right no matter what! -- something I instinctively balk at. But if Julia needs this, we will do it. And later find a way to give her wings. She does need roots before wings.
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