22 April 2010

Conversation

What is normal?

This morning is cooler than the last few and it feels good to be outside. I am geared up for a morning of garden work, mostly carting and spreading mulch. At the beginning of the week, I sprayed some of my most annoying weeds with Round Up -- I know, chemicals. and I do hate them, but for very aggressive weeds it is the only remedy. Does this sound too much like the argument for the nuclear weapons?

And I have to write this -- Today is Earth Day. The 40th anniversary of the beginnings of Earth Day. And today, in the Gulf of Mexico, an oil tanker has been leaking and burning since Tuesday. How very far we have to travel on this one!

We have been talking to a lot of people -- OT, speech therapist, IEP team, and our in home therapists -- about doing more to encourage Julia into conversation. Julia can be maddening or delightful depending on what you are trying to do with her. She seems to understand the mechanics of conversation -- one person says something then the other person says something. She had learned to say excuse me when she wants to say something and others are talking. Our challenge now is content.

When Julia wants to talk to someone, she launches into an enthusiastic exclamation about dinosaurs (or what ever else is one her mind). Like a true Aspergian (person with Aspergers), she has no regard for what the other person is saying or what is appropriate at that moment (like hello or a comment about food or the day) or what they might know about the topic that Julia has been drawn to (Julia is always talking about interesting movies but never introduced the movie topic or explain where in the story she is speaking about.) Still, the kid loves to talk to people and I hope that this need, this love of communication will lead her to fuller communication soon.

Julia is a girl and girls love to talk. I see that it is hard for Julia to be casually included in kid conversation. The children who play with her have to make allowances for her, or they have to be young enough not to care if communication is not perfect. Nine year old girls seem to care a lot.

Just being good examples for Julia is not enough -- oh, that may not be true. She is learning, but her learning curve is not steep enough, and I would venture to guess that this inability to really communicate is part of her frustrations.

Debbie, our lead therapist, suggested a game where a ball is exchanged between partners or among players, and each time a player gets the ball they must say something, even a word, on a topic. Last night, at supper, I asked David about a favorite thing (and now, I can't even remember what it was), and then I asked Julia, and then I said what my favorite thing was. This morning as did the questioning about breakfast foods and David joined in the questions. It was a simple round and only required one or two word answers, and Julia responded and seemed interested. This is very simple, so simple that it is hard for me to think of the baby steps I need to present Julia with to get to conversation. And so, I ask for suggestions and ideas. Simple, simple, simple. How I would love it is my girl could really have a conversation with another little girl she is meeting for the first time. Do you know how happy that would make her??? And me?

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