03 May 2011

Along the way.

Today has not been as especially productive day. I attended a luncheon for the Foundation for Madison Public Schools which raises private funds for our public schools, and I puttered around. I stared at the three more forms to finish before my last class of Friday, finished making an address list for my thank you cards, and edited content for the card. I also poked around the UW website, looking for a class for next fall, wondering how to edge my way into some Waiseman-like world, wondering and wandering. And it is gray and colder than it should be for a May day, and I am sleepy.

Julia was giving one of her therapists a bit of trouble about playing Uno, instead of coloring or playing on the Wii. I went down and joined them and helped her finish the game. So many positives there -- Julia finished the game, she can play almost by herself, she has no trouble with those numbers one through eight, she can be calmed down even when she rather be doing something else, and she talks about being angry without acting on the anger.

More good developments. On Sunday, our therapist had a late emergency and cancelled just minutes before she was due to start a session. Julia and I had planned to be home and in therapy, so we made our own play plan and went down our list. I took the opportunity to play with Julia on her Leapster exploring the first grade program that she has had for a few months. I have noticed that she has been using that cartridge more than the Kindergarten one but I had not gone through the games with her. She was doing the first two levels (out of 3) on all of the games except for the bumper car addition game which expects that she know addition math facts. Still, she could play the basic game and I wondered, for the first time, whether some math fact flash cards would work with her. There is a sentence word order game that she is challenged by but she can do the second level with some help and/or guessing. I am very impressed that she plays these games, wants to play them, and is persistent.

Sometimes I would like to hurry Julia along. I'd like to somehow usher her up to grade level, coax her into maturity, so I would have the peace of mind of knowing that she can get there. There is still that piece of her, that not knowing if development will stop one day, that unnerves me. I can live with a 10 year old who acts like a 6 year old but I am impatient to find out whether she will continue. Will she become self aware? Will she be able to ask about her abilities one day? Each time she takes a step, she fuels my curiosity.

And back to my wanderings. House renovations -- thinking of it as tidying up -- are falling into place. Fixing the doors, refinishing the floors, doing a kitchen that will be a combination of what I have plus some new cabinet pieces, and painting the outside are all things that will make living here more comfortable and will help with sale. No miracles expected, just hoping not to lose money.

Still, so many questions and my aim is to grow comfortable with these questions because they are going to be sticking around for awhile.

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