Leapster

Julia and I have been working with the Leapster 2 every day since Christmas. The first two days, I had to do a lot of encouragement. The Kindergarten program that I bought really does take a kid through the basics in how to use the pen, the arrow pad, and the A button. Julia was frustrated at first, especially when she had to use both the A button to jump and the arrow to move in a direction as she jumped. I tagged the Leapster to the end of our reading work and we sat of the couch with a blanket over us, cuddling down together. We worked with the Leapster for about 20 minutes together. Today, Julia is sitting beside me and doing the Leapster by herself. She is getting better at the four games on this program and can "buy" the monster parts with the tickets that she earns. She is beginning to get it! She is stil working with level 1 for all of the games but I expect that she will move up as the games get easy.

I have read about Leapster and how kids learn and use it but did not expect Julia to catch on so fast. Oh, I am pleased. There is a educational component in each game -- sometimes not a big one but something. Any reinforcement of letters, numbers, words, math is time well spent for her. AND it seems to be based on following verbal directions, with a button to repeat questions. And she is paying attention and little by little is listening more, as in "pop the orange heart with the lower case p." This is complex listening that I didn't know she was able to do. Now, she is not perfect and needs to listen more carefully, but she is doing just that. And she is enjoying the rewards.

Cheshire and I are having a day out -- shopping, that is, returning her Christmas presents and getting what she wanted, then hair cuts, dinner and a movie. Julia is getting Daddy time before therapy today. Oh, this should be fun!

To answer Sarah's two questions:

Yes, Cheshire got home safe and sound and only a half hour late. Incredible! And we are so happy to have her home for the week.

And the Leapster 2 -- so far so good. I think it is a very good learning tool. We bought two programs -- Kindergarten and Pet pals. The first really teaches use of the leapster in general -- something which might help me. Julia can be either patient and go through the games/exercises or really frustrated with it. But she needs to learn when to use the arrows and jump buttons. Some kids might fall into this without any trouble. Julia needs to practice. I've been sitting with her when she plays and then leaving her alone when I feel she's done enough. So far she has played with it beyond my time with her but not for a long time. We have a way to go before it will occupy her on a long trip. From what I've read, there is a learning component to every game, with some more prominent than others. There is also an online check in for parents to see how the kid is using the games. That will not be of much value to me until I let her work with the leapster without me.

Monday morning, a 9 o'clock therapist and we are still in pj's. The therapist, although new to us, is cool about the pj's. Julia is ready to play. I did some very last minute pick up and sorting of toys which were spread over three rooms. I don't at all feel like cleaning but there is a necessity.

I am an awful housekeeper. And you know, I just don't care that much. I love a clean house, but I wish someone else wanted to do it.

I talked to Cheshire about what I do for reading work with Julia and she suggested I do more word games and word use, and pull back on the book reading. Because I usually can't do reading work every day -- when we have hours of therapy after a full day of school, I don't make Julia do more . . . . But rethinking that right now, I wonder if that is the exact time to do book reading because Julia does it cuddled up with me.

Back to original thesis of not doing reading work on busy days, I get exhausted too, and on those busy days, I want only to become a couch potato and turn on tv. I am resolving to do less of that -- we need to both read and play games. Maybe couch slug time should be our time to read to Julia.

Julia slept until 8:20 this mornig.

The woman in China

Tonight, as I was putting Julia to bed, Julia started talking about "the woman in China." She talked for a long time. I am not sure if she was imagining or remembering, but what she told me did not include dinosaurs or any other fantasy that she usually talks about. She told me that the woman in China told her that she did not belong in China. She belonged with her parents. The woman liked her and kissed her and said to get into the car. The woman was a teacher. The woman took care of her but told her to leave to go home. The woman said she had to leave China and go to Wisconsin (We lived in Indy when we went to China). The woman told her not to come back to China. The woman found our house and brought Julia there.

Julia then said that she was angry and scared and afraid. She did not act on those emotions. She asked me if I was happy that she was in Wisconsin. I told her yes, I was very happy. She asked me a few other questions, if I loved her, if she had to go back to China, and where her home was. She asked whether the woman was going to come for her. I told her over and over the I loved her, that she was home, and that she was safe.

Julia went back to talking about the woman in China, saying some of the same things she said before. Then, she turned over and went to sleep.

The day was not easy. Julia was resistant about everything. I don't know whether it is the side effect of the drug or just where she is right now.

A little bit of Christmas

Julia's aunt and uncle send two playmobil sets. One is a hospital room and the other an operating room. She had been playing with it since she opened it. Another favorite was the kid microphone. Julia is having so much fun with this.

An so is Daddy. Look at that face as she looks at her Dad.

Christmas Eve plus some

On Christmas Eve, we all got ready for Santa's visit. Julia's doll house has been decorated for a few weeks now and the baby squirrels have a nest made of fresh pine needles. There is a tree with one decoration on it in brother's room.

Our mantle piece was decorated with a "gingerbread" house that Julia made last week. Just before bed, Julia put up her own stocking and then put up mine -- so I would not forget.

And then it was time to go to sleep and wait for Santa.

Julia woke up early on Christmas morning and she and I went downstairs. We let David sleep some. Julia's excitement as we walked downstairs in the dark was contagious; it was so very sweet. It was electric. I could remember that physical feeling of excitement and remembered coming down other stairs and into a living room with a decorated tree with what looked liked a mountains of presents crowded around it. Julia oo-ed and ah-ed. She looked at the boxes and looked at the little cards to find her name. I told her that we had to wait for Daddy and she was pretty happy to watch her morning tv shows while I puttered around the kitchen putting breakfast together so we could open presents as soon as David got up.

Julia slept late this morning, almost until 7:30, and we are letting David sleep a bit later. David has off today, which I forgot and which is great! My only tasks today are to shovel/blow snow, shop for some food, and clean up the house. We have a family church service at 3 and I am hoping that Julia enjoys the singing. We have had a few episodes of standing around our tree and singing the Whoville Christmas song tht we never know all the words too. It is both very dear and really silly.

David was not feeling great yesterday, and the only time I have felt so compulsive about health was when Cheshire was a new born. Every sneeze and cough brings a gulp of fear -- This waiting may go on for months or a year. Waiting is exhausting. And I am not the one getting the heart!

Julia has become even more of a mother focused person than she has been. She still prefers Daddy to put her to bed, any night , every night. But I am her go to person all the rest of the time. Yesterday, I spent a lot of her therapy time upstairs wrapping presents and Julia didn't like that. She didn't bother me or continually knock on the door, but she was very happy to see me when I came downstairs and was much more responsive to me than she was to her therapists. We played a game together. I've noticed that Julia asks me to play with her more often, and trusts me to tell her what to do -- well, at least sometimes. We spent an hour outside yesterday, shoveling, walking the dog, and then playing in the snow. We made our first snowman -- a table top version. He is very cool but the snow has mostly covered him before I got to take a picture.

The snow is very wet and slushy today, but I will not complain at all. It is warmer today and I hope it keeps up through tomorrow so that Cheshire can fly in from NYC. I am intending an easy travel day for my girl.

Can I drum?

We are watching Sesame Street and there was a bit about a drumming school. Julia is very interested, like she is when we see something about dance school or kids doing karate together. She would love to do something like. She would love to be in a class with other kids and follow directions. BUT that is so very hard for her. It seems impossible for her to do in school, for gym or music, so I have not at all considered special lessons. Maybe once we get the drug mix right. Maybe, maybe.

I am going to call the med doc today to see if we could change Julia's meds sooner than the next time we see him in February. Now, that we are on this path, I'd like to move as quickly as we can. Sometimes moderation is tough.

No, moderation is ALWAYS tough.

I did not start the day in a better mood that I left yesterday, but there was lots of snow, there was Julia working on reading, and there was baking to do. And now, I am much mellower.

Whew! It is me, all me, and nothing else. This brain can be such a burden! Anyone else feel that way? I've had lists running around my head for days, weeks now. Getting reading for David's surgery, getting ready for that perfect Christmas, getting a list of activities for Julia to do to occupy her during vacation (educational activities preferred). Oy! And I am failing to put enough checks on those lists. And who wouldn't? Rationally, I have all the answers but that rational portion is drowned out by the crazy, manic, demanding task master. Really, no one is demanding some perfect Christmas.

Julia had an interesting day today. Part of my calming down was getting in tune with Julia which is not easy these days because of the effects of the meds. I can see that the Adderall is having some effect -- Julia does slow down and it is easier for her to listen and do one thing at a time. When the drug wears off 4-6 hours, Julia is back to non-stop talking on at least four different subjects at the same time. While I blew snow this morning, Julia walked the dog up and down the street. She has never done this before and I think it was a bit scary for her, but she did as I asked. Maybe by next summer, Julia can walk the dog sometimes.

We did reading work after mailing most of our holiday cards and shopping for a few baking needs. Although our newest sight words are coming along very slowly, she is preserving through the book. Julia also really like to snuggle while we work on sight words and her books. I admit that sometimes sitting together with a blanket over us causes me to doze a bit. When we are going through a book, I point to words. If I begin to fall asleep, my finger slips and Julia puts it back to where it belongs. LOL. I remind myself of David!

So I end today feeling a bit more whole in heart and spirit.

Report on Monday

So maybe we all have bad days once on awhile just so we can remember how many good ones are in between those ucky days. Julia, who has a very pleasant and cooperative morning, was a demon on wheels at speech therapy. Julia refused to do anything that Kara wanted her to do. She didn't want to read, didn't want to be read to, didn't want to draw pictures about a story. Julia spent most of her time tantrumming, although she was not out of control for any of the time. When we could not calm her or get her to work, I took her in my arms and held her, hoping to disapate her anger. I held her for a long time and that did not work. Then I had her sit on the floor. She screamed a few times and kicked the door. She also punched the door once and recoiled with the pain of it.

In the car on the way home, Julia apologized many times. I was not angry -- tired and somewhat frustrated with the waste of time -- but Julia felt the need to tell me over and over that she would behave better. She was incredibly solicitous, making sure that I felt good. We went to the post office, and she waited patiently with me in a long line and was polite to the clerk.

When her at home therapist came over, she transformed once again. After playing with a little pile of pine needles that she had saved from what had fallen off the tree, Julia would not do anything that Morgan wanted her to do. We finally decided to make paper chains for the tree. Morgan and I started cutting paper strips and glueing rings of paper together. Julia came around and she and I worked together on one end of the chain and Morgan did the other. Most of the time, when therapists are at our house, Julia much rather talk and interact with the therapists. She has asked me to leave at times. Today, I was the only person Julia wanted to talk to for a long time. And there was much too much of, "Mama" "Mama" "Mama."

After Morgan left, Amy came. Julia started out playing with Amy and the doll house. They played a short game and Julia managed to get a sticker for that. Then there was nothing else that Julia wanted to do but decorate the tree, and so, Julia and Amy put the single decorations on the tree. I will do a little adjustment here and there, but they did a great job.

When they were finished and Amy was about to leave, Julia wanted us to hold hands and sing Christmas songs. She is so excited.

Oh, gosh, what a strange day. At the end of the day, we are watching tv for a few minutes before Julia goes to bed. She is talking like a machine gun at her Daddy.

What will tomorrow bring?

What should concentration look like?

I am trying to notice whether the new drug, Aderall, helps Julia. Now that we realize how wrong we were about the Guanfacine, I do not trust myself to observe anything.

What does an increase of concentration mean to a personality like Julia's? Was her detailed picture drawn during Sunday school more concentration? What about when she whispered tht she was bored to me during that too long for her lesson? And then, assuming that Julia is responding to the medication, what should I be seeing? Certainly, not Julia sitting down to do a page of subtraction. What does concentration look like for a child who has not understood why she is going to school, who does not really want to learn anything more? What am I looking for?

Today, Julia and I have the morning to ourselves. Then at 1, we have OT and speech, and come home to therapy here. This morning, we have the tree to decorate, holiday cards to get out, and the livingroom to clean up enough for the therapists this afternoon.

I set aside some time today to write. I thought that I might want to do something creative or at least a good, long blog entry. Ach! What that means is that I have be really wanting to sit down and just write whatever I wanted for a good long time. Julia has a therapist this afternoon for 4 hours. Surely I could carve out two of those hours to indulge myself, but Julia lost (in the house) the little blue bird and we spent time searching for it, I had email to catch up with, and clothes to fold an an upstairs to straighten. So, I wonder how much I really was aimed at writing today and how much I wanted to just claim the time or avoid other tasks.


I hold the idea of starting a writing project. I'll see if it stays longer than a moment.

Julia was watching the tree guy cut off a slice of the tree trunk and get our tree ready to go home with us. I love the concentration. I wonder at times like that what she really sees. Is it the same as we see? Is it something else? She is probably more of herself than sheha been in a month. Talking too fast and too much; having a very hard time listening and staying on any task. She also spent mot of the day with her nose in her shirt -- a habit that had practically disappeared at the beginning of this year. I know that sometimes habits come back and this is clearly sensory, but it is hard take a step backwards.

Picking a tree

We went to a tree farm to get our tree but decided to look at their already cut trees -- Even in snow pants, boots and gloves, we are city kids. We looked at a few and Julia picked her favorite.
Daddy approved and took the tag inside to pay for the tree.
Once inside, Julia found a store full of sparkling and beautiful decortions, snow globes, and music boxes.

She looked and picked carefully and brought home a tiny blue bird to put on the tree.

Which of course, Daddy paid for.

Last day of school before Christmas vacation. Julia is excited to be out of school for awhile. She loved wearing her red dress again -- it has become her Christmas dress and she thinks it is a Chinese dress -- the red and mums make it look vaguely Asian. I did her hair in two little buns with ribbons and bells and she pronounced herself a pretty little Chinese girl.

I like when she says that. I like when she is proud of herself for who and what she is.

We started Julia on the stimulant today. She has been bouncing off the walls for the last few days, and there was no reason to hold off. It is interesting that I do see some effect of the last medication in her attention to David and I. That has stayed. We'll see if it remains.

I interviewed for a plum of a job this morning -- real legal geek work with the chance of doing some justice. The interviewer pulled my resume out of a stack about 3 inches high. I hope they are not interviewing all of people attached to those resumes. This is the first interview I've done in a long time. I had a great time talking to the two interviewers. I'd like the job.

'nough said.