02 February 2011

I've gotten side tracked, distracted from the narrow path. The flu kills my readiness to be researching and working on projects. The snow slows my pace of the daily round and tires me incredibly. My meanderings about my amazingly unknown future, tomorrow, next year and five years from now, erases all focus. Disappointment makes me selfish and crazy. I want to whine and complain that living in the now is too hard for me. Some kind of Buddha voice comes from deep inside -- breathe, slow down, focus on the path and the process, let go of expectations and the clutching feelings of scarcity and want. I whine again but weaker this time I know that Buddha voice is right. Grrrr, I want a different Buddha voice.

Julia came out with me to shovel snow. She stayed about a half hour and shoveled the back steps and a bit of the front path to the steps. We also spent a chunk of time playing Super Mario Brothers. We are generally still pretty awful at it. I am hopeless, but we play together, we save each other, and Julia loves cheering me on.

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