11 August 2011

I dreamed of David last night. He gave me a piece of paper with a list on it. There was a heading and three things below the heading. It does seem that David enters my dreams at the tail end of a dream and I no sooner took the piece of paper than I was awakening. I scrambled to try to remember what was on the list. I woke myself up enough to remember the paper, the heading and the list, but when I woke up later in the morning, I completely forgot what was on the list. I don't remember what it was about or whether it was important.

This communication from either my sub-conscience or the other side can certainly be frustrating. It is time to start keeping a dream journal near my bed and to use it. I don't know if I would have remembered more in this case, but I couldn't have remembered any less. I seem to have lost am ability to remember dreams that was incredibly strong from childhood to the beginning of middle age. I am not sure how I lost it and I hope I can cultivate it again.

We have clothes in cleaned closets! More sorting of the toy room today and tonight.

After therapy this morning I gave Julia the choice of spending some time in the garden -- me gardening, her looking for and at bugs -- or going to the zoo. I was routing for the zoo, but she wanted to be in the garden. It was a good choice. Very good, in fact. I did a bit of weeding and cutting back that my poor garden really needed. I must say that the devas were singing to me. I have an idea to redo the back garden which I have worked hard at ignoring beyond very basic work this whole warm season. House and garden, house and garden. I can work in the house all day and feel not a single vibration, but let me pull a single weed and I am alive and close to some very basic me.

Julia is definitely in transition -- of coming home, dealing with the end of our journeying, having a house that is not set up as usual. I am not sure what it is, but she is having a hard time concentrating and listening. She has been tough on therapists since we returned. But today, we saw Marilyn and Julia told her two stories in possibly the most complete way she has ever done. The told Marilyn about the concert and operas she saw at Chautauqua -- Peter and the Wolf, and Babar. She loved both of them and remember quite a lot. She also told Marilyn that she loved Chautauqua. She loved living in the house with Lisa and all the other people who lived there.

I realized that she might have enjoyed the communal living experience so much because of her early experience in China. Julia did fold into our shared bathrooms and shelf in the frig and rules about cleaning up quickly and without complaint. She enjoyed the casual contact with our housemates and also really like the praise from others when she did her assigned chore of carpet sweeping around and under our table which morphed into sweeping for others as well. None of this was a big deal, except that this is the first time that I can see that something that she learned in China benefited her. And that thought warms my heart.

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