Saturday morning on the deck

I am sitting on my front deck, it is a perfect temperature, the bugs don't know how nice it is. I hear birds, sirens, and lawn mowers. I just wrote a long passionate post for a new yahoo group for autistic kids, most are from China right now. I know I have to do some work, house work, this morning and find a recipe for the picnic we are going to later this afternoon, but I want to just sit here and type. Julia is with a therapist -- Ellen. I spied the two of them walking to a playground a few blocks away. Julia looking all the world like a typical kid, neuro-typical. For a moment, I wonder about cure and possibilities. I can't let myself get to far with that day dream because . . . well because it is such a dream. Still, I am looking forward so much to the summer home with her. Just a few more school weeks and then we can sit on the deck and have breakfast together.

As I was doing Julia's hair this morning, she thought I hurt myself with a comb. I told her that I hadn't and then she said, "I worry about you Mommy." I cannot give her a worry free world. She has seen too much, she knows too much. We work backwards from fear, hurt, neglect, abuse to absolute love and support. What a challenge.