04 July 2011

Today started so hard, wave after wave of grief ready to snare me at every turn. There was nothing that was not a trigger for tears -- music, things, Julia, kind words from friends, emptiness. But determined to get through the day and do something with it, I packed up a bookcase while Julia had therapy and then she and I went with our friend, Robert, went to the Monona Festival. Julia rode kiddy rides, we ate brats, we browsed the craft fair, and Julia played on the play-structure (with another kid even!). It became okay somewhere during that time. The grief subsided -- Maybe I sweat it out! Gawd, it was hot!

Julia and I came home to watch a movie, eat junk food -- the bowl of rice was the most sensible thing Julia has eaten today, but I resolved not to worry about food today. Soon, we leave for fireworks and by the time we get home, we'll be exhausted and fall into bed. This will be such a good thing. Such a good end to this day.

I hate that David had a last day last year, but I do rejoice that there were many days of such love and care for us to have together. They were marvelous.

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