22 July 2011

Vacations don't seem to be entirely easy for me. For us. Two bumps today which are not devastating but do give me pause.

I was supposed to visit my father-in-law on Sunday. He and his wife have moved to an assisted living facility in New Jersey. They needed to do it. His wife cannot climb stairs and it seems really cannot manage with a good deal of help. I imagine these things because I have not seen them in more than a year. Dad is depressed and feels like he has been put out of his house. He needed to get out of that house years ago. His wife has always been very hard to deal with. From what I hear, she is only more so.

So, although once again, I planned a visit weeks ago, and talked about it a number of times, he decided today that I should not visit. I know that this is not personal, but personal or not, he will not live forever and any visit at this point could be the last for either Dad or his wife.

I just need to let go of it. "It" being what? The connection with David? The connection with all those married years? When I remember how much I have lost in the past few years -- both my parents and David -- it should not be surprising that I am not ready to sever connections with David's father. But it may just be time. I may just not have the choice.

The other bump, which I don't want to say much about, is that any idea of moving to Maryland within the year us quashed. Maybe two or four. Maybe.

Switching subjects.

It was somewhere over 100 degrees today, so in the afternoon, we headed for a near-by creek for sitting in or near the water, playing in the sandy pools, tubing, and swimming in the deepest and coolest water we could find. Staying wet, and in or near the water kept us so cool. There was a point where I forgot how hot it really was. Another little girl found Julia and the two of them played for a long time in a shallow, sandy pool, looking for tadpoles, little fish, bugs, and rocks. It was a delight.

When we got back to the house, I put Julia right in the shower. She usually doesn't take showers, but I wanted her to wash off and didn't want to go through a bath. She just took off her bathing suit and I put her right into shower and soaped her up, washed her off, and let her get out. And ya' know, she didn't even seem to mind.


Snickerdoodle said...

It's so hard to sever ties, before we are ready, but if he is in such a bad place (in his mind), then perhaps it's for the best. Angry people are no fun to be around, and say and do things that can be very very hurtful. :(

It can be so hard, but sometimes necessary.

I caught a glimpse of Julia's beautiful smile even in the fuzzy picture. She looks like she's having a ball!!

My littlest one has been showering for a year now and it's just so much quicker (with my help). My oldest has been showering for 3 years on her own now. Way less water!! ;)

Snick :)

Traci said...

Hugs to my friend. I suppose the fact that it has happened twice really shows that he is in such a bad place. I'm sorry you are hurt. I love you friend!!