Monday

Not at all a good day for me. And for Julia, well just so so.

Julia had a frown for math time today on her behavior chart. She did not want to do math, threw her pencil and paper, and scratched Sheila, her aide. Sheila is the model of patience -- she is an adoptive mom and has at least one kid with some severe needs. Julia also had a hard time in gym today. They are working on basket ball and Julia enjoyed that last year. Today, the noise in the gym was too much -- Julia has become more sensitive to noice and even with ear plugs, she is scared of the vibrations in the gym. She also expressed lots of fear that the balls were going to hit her. She was too afraid to do anything but sit in the corner and zone out. And she preferred to stay inside during recess today and do the math that she missed in the morning.

Julia is in a no mood today. This was her modus operandi during her first two years at home. Ask her anything and her answer is no. Booo! Boo Ya! in Chinese, and then no's as she learned English. It is not as intense right now, but it feels the same. The mood feels the same. And so, is it fear? Of what? Is it the drugs? Is the noise simply driving her nuts?

Breakfast and supper are okay. Julia is still not eating much, if at all, for lunch. We are giving her ice cream after dinner. And she is doing well on the whole milk lactose free.

As for me. I did nothing today. Malaise. Not good at all.

One of the reasons that I have not worked on a life book for Julia up to this point -- other than that she had absolutely no interest at all -- is my anger and utter saddnes about Julia's life in China. This anger and saddness is heavy on my heart tonight. And it is time to work on a lifebook for Julia that we can read together.