Seven characters

Julia has been pretty tough on the therapists yesterday and today. Just staunchly in her NO frame of mind. I spent about 45 minutes holding her this morning during a therapy session to get her calmed down to a place where she could play.

If only I could get inside that head!

Still working on the life book. I am using every picture I have of her early life to put together this much simpler than I thought I would do book. I hope to answer and raise some questions that are coming up now. I find it hard to write only about her or from just her perspective -- mainly because I have so little information to use. I can write about the history of the one child policy, orphanages and abandonment, and our paper chase, but that is not relevant to her now. So it goes slower than I expected but I am pleased with the pages I have finished. The tension between word and pictures feels important. I cut and add frequently.

But I am not going to work on it for 6 months. Another week perhaps. Biggest snag right now, my computer is dying. Well, dead right now. The quick fix of two weeks ago was just that -- quick but not complete. I don't want to spend any more money on it. It may be time to give in and buy a new laptop.

I was scanning the short note that was said to have been found with Julia. I am overwhelmed by the fact that this copy of a note with 7 characters and a few numbers on it is the closest link I have to her birth family. I want to translate the entire thing. I have the rough translation that it says what day she was born on, but I want to squeeze those 7 characters to find out if there is anything else. How I would love something else about her parents. I can't expect it, but to even here that the characters are written with a fine hand, a messy hand, or someone who really couldn't write well, might be something.

Although I thought carefully when we first talked about adoption and how I did not want an open adoption of any sort, I find that I was totally wrong.