04 August 2010

Can we talk?

I had dreams during the night last night and I remember bits and pieces. They were confused, scary, and riotous, but I know they are part of my process, so I am happy to have them. David may have been there but that is only an impression. That is all that is left now.

My mind whirls with ideas and thoughts and whirls and whirls. This is what is running through me today. The house.

David and I were planing an extensive renovation for the first floor. We finally had connect with an architect we liked and found a contractor who we could afford.

What should I do now?

These are my thoughts:

I know I should wait a bit and I will. Nothing rash for this wild woman.

But, (And I may have written all this before but I need the rehash, and I need some comments)

I expect I will be in Madison at least 4 more years because of my WU program and maybe work, Julia's therapy and schooling, and the possibility that Cheshire will come to the midwest for grad school next year.

So, what is worth doing for 4 years? I am not saying that I will leave Madison after that, but of course, there is that possibility.

The kitchen could use a redo, it is late 80's, early 90's in Loew's style. The space is not efficient, not enough storage, not great to work in, etc., etc. I have lived with it for three years, lived with my ugly Indy kitchen for 10 years before that. I was so longing for my dream kitchen or as close we could get (and my dreams are not extravagant).

The house could really use a half bath on the first floor. I have only one bath and that will not be good for resale, and not convenient.

I have a "garden room" on the back of the house which is not insulated, cold in the winter, hot in the summer and needs repair to be usable at all. It has become a junk room and we never use it. I could use the extra space.

Finally, I was going to have walls taken down to make the heart of the house a more open space. I would still love this but I am willing to give this up. With just two of us, we have enough room.

Now I need some comments. Some help in thinking. Please don't tell me to wait awhile -- that is something I know I will do, but I want to start planning, so I want to figure out what I can plan for.

Help, help, help!

1

7 comments:

Traci said...

Do you need "permission" to know it's okay to go ahead? Are you asking specifically about which spaces to go ahead with? Are you asking because you can't figure out if you should go ahead when you "may" not be there in four years?

I'm probably no help at all but when my uncle died my 400+ pound aunt had been planning to have weight reduction surgery. He died before she was able to have it. She was torn about whether or not to go ahead, but in the end she went for it. She knew that her husband had supported the idea. She went from a shut in to a happy productive person.

Obviously, this has little or nothing to do with you, but I thought of it and I ramble.

Assuming there are no changes in the financial consideration for your project, I would say that it might be reasonable to go ahead with the parts of the project that would make your house more enjoyable; the kitchen, the half bath, and the garden room.

If the house needed this update before David died then it still needs it today. The renovation was to be for all three of you - not just David.

Hope I was constructive in, at least, some of my post.

Scott adds, "Everything that she mentioned will aid in the resale value of the house. That's doesn't mean that she'll get everything she puts into it out of it, but all of these things are positive for resale value."

Love you! Hope you get the help you're looking for. You have some pretty great friends that hang out here.

Jan T said...

As you know after 30 years of friendship, I'm *not* Mr. Practicality. For what it's worth, though,I agree with Traci and Scott. Do the the kitchen, the half bath and the garden room. You will have seriously improved your quality of life in the present and added to potential resale value for the future. Then, if you eventually decide to sell, see about the heart of the house piece then: find out if you can afford it, will it add enough to re-sale value to be worth the investment, etc.

rev. lisa ward said...

Suzanne -- I suggest journaling the whirl for awhile. You are in a new time and not yet sure of your financial flow. I have no doubt that the changes will occur, I just don't think now is the time. Ease into this way of being and approach the changes piece by piece, a kind of short and long range plan. My gut says there is more leave taking needed before transforming the space. But with the confidence that it will occur, I think you will eventually not feel torn, you will KNOW. My two cents, with love. lisa

rev. lisa ward said...

Suzanne -- I suggest journaling the whirl for awhile. You are in a new time and not yet sure of your financial flow. I have no doubt that the changes will occur, I just don't think now is the time. Ease into this way of being and approach the changes piece by piece, a kind of short and long range plan. My gut says there is more leave taking needed before transforming the space. But with the confidence that it will occur, I think you will eventually not feel torn, you will KNOW. My two cents, with love. lisa

Anonymous said...

what Lisa said.
yes!

and from a realtor's daughter...kitchens get you 80%-90% on resale, bathrooms a bit less. OTOH, half baths where there are none might be a bit more like the 80% to 90%.
if you are doing it to sell, don't spend more than you wish to kiss off. if you are doing it to enhance your appreciation of the space, go where your heart leads and you will be happy.
Cathy

Brad said...

Suzanne,
It is worth doing, even if you are only there for 4 yrs, but there are a few things to consider. These are based on 3-4 large & small construction projects we have done on our house.
1. It will cost at least twice (possibly three times) as much as you think it will, regardless of what they estimate.

2. It will take two or three times as long as you think it will.

3. Your house will be very dusty and you will have builders in your house at all hours... e.g. they may want to start very early or end late.

4. Some decisions may need to be made at the last minute... e.g. where light fittings go, etc. no matter how much planning you do there are moments of panic when the builder says, "the plumber is coming tomorrow, so has the sink you ordered arrived?" and you know your favorite sink is on back order.

So my suggestion is hire a person who will look after your best interests and manage the builders and all aspects of the work. You talk to him/her and that person deals with all the difficult builders, plumbers etc. Your priority is Julia, not managing builders.

I'm sure the end-result will be great, but don't underestimate the disruption to your life. For example, when our kitchen was done, we cooked with only a microwave for a month. Our house smelled of dust and paint for at least several weeks.

Good luck and always pleased to talk about it. Overall we had very good builders and very good experiences but each time, we underestimated the costs, time, and disruption.

Snickerdoodle said...

I suggest not making any rash decisions. Get yourself back home, take a deep breath and settle back into your routine.

You want the work done, and it will happen.

Settle in first. A few weeks? A few months? You'll know when the time is right. :)

"Experts" suggest not making any huge life decsions for at least one year after the death of a loved one. But house fixings are not "major" (although they feel like it at the time!).

Best,
Snick :)