I miss David, but I am not lonely today. That is nice.
Julia is drawing. Making books. Asking Sarah Grace how to spell words. She, Julia that is, loves it here. She is smiling. She is listening, for the most part, to the directions, instructions, and corrections of those who are her elders. That is everyone here! Is it the bigger family? Does she long for that?
Cheshire got in last night and it is so good. Sooo good.
I am more content than I have been for a long time. I have had some hard moments the last days, no specific reason, but a wash of sorrow, awareness, and then the wave retreats from the shore of mind.
I had an energy appointment yesterday. Again, Ellen is intuitive and in person, stronger. She knew when my mind drifted from the assigned work. She worked to separate my father and brother's energies from my own. She told me that I was born in this life to be different, to do work away from the crowd -- of course, i knew that. She told me the mission of my current life is service and forgiveness. She told me I needed a goal, and to allow myself in limbo only for a short time. She told me other things as well.
Yes, I am thinking of another child. Another child close in age to Julia. But nothing is in stone. And those who think I am nuts, or just very foolish, can weigh in. Lisa and Marianne have. Yes, i know all the arguments not to do it, but I also know that I have mothering that I have not used up. Maybe, taking care of others, finding the service I need will suffice, but I am not ready say no to that ever present tickle for another child.
Today, the day is grey and rainy -- very mellow, not cold. Easy on the eyes and the spirit. Enjoying the sitting, typing, just outside the circle but available for comment. David's ipod is on shuffle.