19 November 2010

Yesterday, in Facebook, I posted: Talking to the guy at the Honda Service Department and feeling a wee bit frustrated when he was not happy about changing my contact info from David's name to mine. Really it was just a wee, wee bit of frustration but I said, "my husband took care of my car and he is dead." The guy is now falling all over himself. I think he will try to shine my sneakers. Weird and funny. Sure, sad, but . . .


Mind is darting from one topic to another. Much too fast to record. Yesterday, I did an assessment of a almost 4 year old. The normal-ness of her development was fun, made me sad, and set my mind whirling. I've been constructing some project since then. China, orphans, two mountains to get over: trauma and attachment, wanting to do something original but truthfully I don't know enough. And obviously, I can't write with punctuation. But there is something -- getting rid of the ego piece of wanting recognition for doing something original. Yes. But playing with an almost 4 year old yesterday was pleasure and no ego at all. I want more of that. It confirmed my feeling, vague up to that point, that I wanted to be in the trenches, working with kids and not on the mucky-muck research side for the long run. I can see the burn out but it is the children not the advancement in knowledge that interests me.

On to Julia . . .

To everyone who ever gave Julia a coloring book, a dot-to-dot book, or a puzzle book. I had no idea if she would ever use them, but we may run out soon!!!! How wonderful is that. I "caught" her counting doing a dot-to-dot. She was having trouble with numbers over 30 and had to go real slow. She did not give up. She asked for help. She erased over and over again, but she persevered. Yesterday, she drew and then signed the paper quickly! She did not labor over each letter as she has done in the past. She is signing Julia Dinosaur, with the "s" turned the wrong way.

Seeing each step, steps that parents usually take for granted. Steps that I regard as a miracle each time. Divine intervention? I know we have done so much work with her, but each step still seems to come from out of the blue -- actually, each step is built from a series of littler steps, more like a ramp than steps. But there is no way to know how far a child who is delayed can go. My heart holds the grief of finding her limit, but I will not let that stop my from singing for her accomplishments.

If only I can bring one more home. I want Julia to have a sister close to her age. That is for sure. I'd like her to come from China but I don't know if that is possible -- there is a no singles rule. This is a wish for another year -- next year, I hope. And then, we shall see where this next one will come from.

5 comments:

norie said...

your wish for a sister for julia made me get the shivers...i so respect and honor you, suzanne!

Snickerdoodle said...

There *might* be some movement for singles adopting from China with some test cases in the coming months. There might be some possibilities soon.

Plus there are some other countries where singles can adopt from.

Best,
Snick (single mama to two)

Suz said...

Snick if you hear any good rumors, please let me know. Also, if you know of agencies that would put a "qualified" single, give me a heads up. I'd love to enter into conversation about this.

Suz

Chasing Starshine said...

Re: what you said about not knowing how far Julia can develop, one of the things that has been fascinating about watching my sister grow up with a developmental disability is that there is no full stop. She is still, at 22, developing new abilities and putting pieces together that weren't connected before. It is a joy to watch. You have a lot of joy ahead of you with Julia! :-)

Anonymous said...

yup...there seems to be some "opening" in the "no singles" door. Just a crack as of now, but it is opening.
it may have something to do with the thousands of older kids who are waiting and waiting and waiting...